Yes it is hard to keep on a blogging timetable at a time like this. My doc has me on sleeping tablets so I can try getting 8hrs sleep a night. As far as that goes, well they’re working a little too well, with it being extremely difficult to stay awake throughout the day. Now while with many of my meetings in work this might not be too much of an issue, with the drive too and from work, it could prove difficult! So hopefully I am catching up on lost sleep and will return to normal shortly.
In other news though, I am definitely feeling better. My physical recovery is coming along nicely, with me being able to walk for an hour now. It’s still very slow by my standards, but it’s an hour of walking and it feels like a milestone reached. It’s looking unlikely now that I will reach my original walking goal this year, but it will be half completed at least so that it major.
Also, in the last week, I fulfilled part of a promise I made to Brigid 3 years ago. Yeah, three years ago. But I finally fulfilled it – of course COVID had a part in it not being fulfilled, but now it finally is. And it feels good to do it. It’s personal so I won’t divulge the actual details of the promise, but it’s good to have it done. And it shows she can be patient at times. Extremely patient in this case!!
I’ve also been to the dentist for the first time in 22yrs, which was a major deal for me. I hate people touching me unless I know them, I hate people poking me, and I hate people putting things in my mouth – ye can see how I don’t like dentists right? But I did it, and 2 out of 3 appts over now. Only 3 fillings needed after 22 yrs which isn’t too bad. I’m not going to lie – it was horrible, for all the reasons I highlighted above – but it’s almost over now. Just one more appointment next week and I’m done again for a bit. Self care is not always exciting or sexy or relaxing, but being able to eat comfortably for the years I have left on this earth will make me a better tool for herself.
None of this is easy, but it’s easy for me to look back at where I was 1 month, 2 months ago and realise that things are a lot better now and I definitely needed this time to recover. She understands healing, she understands self care – probably more deeply than any of us do. And this, too, is part of the work.