We’re talking about spiritual values in the Brigid’s Path Collective right now and I thought it a discussion worth bringing to a wider sphere. So, in this post, I’ll be exploring what are spiritual values, why they’re important and how you figure out what yours are!
Y’see, a lot of coaches (and trust me, I’ve been through many of them) start off with highlighting what are your personal values. It helps to hone in on what areas of life you want to focus on with regard to the coaching. So, you can see how I’d be concerned with determining someone’s spiritual values when engaging with spiritual coaching.
What are spiritual values?
We’re going dictionary definitions here. Collins dictionary just for a change.
The value of something such as a quality, attitude, or method is its importance or usefulness. If you place a particular value on something, that is the importance or usefulness you think it has.
Spiritual means relating to people’s thoughts and beliefs, rather than to their bodies and physical surroundings.
Now, we’ve talking about what spirituality is before on this blog. I won’t go through all that again. But, it is worth a read, or indeed a re-read if it’s something you want to revisit.
Here though, I looking at specifically spiritual values. Our values are things we hold dear and being clear on our values and committing to living our lives in line with these values makes life more coherent and decision-making easier. Honestly.
For example, one of my general values in honesty. I say pretty often that what you see is mostly what you get with me. This isn’t necessarily a spiritual value as such. But I use it in my spiritual life as well. And it makes life easier not having to remember what I told to who whenever I’m speaking to people.
Now, it could be said that honesty is a spiritual value, in that it related to my thoughts and beliefs, rather than anything physical. But y’know, it’s a value I hold dear and not specifically just in a spiritual sense. And the same could be said about many values.
There are loads of lists for this sort of thing on google. Go have a search.
I have found some I find particularly related to my spiritual work though.
Values I consider predominantly spiritual
- Clarity about teaching: Some of ye will be aware of this already, but when I’m writing anything or teaching anything, I am careful to highlight what I’m basing on fact, lore or other firm foundations and what is personal gnosis. This is important, particularly in spirituality, because personal gnosis is absolutely valid – but only to me. Not necessarily to everyone else.
- Honesty: Yes I know, I said honesty was a general value. But it’s also a spiritual value. The difference is, that with spiritual stuff, I have to be honest with myself. If I know why I’m doing something, or why something is important, then I can make better decisions. This doesn’t mean I make decisions because of altruistic reasons. I am aware that, actually, I like the attention I get from teaching, coaching and mentoring. And it’s ok to like it. I have to be careful not to let it be my only source of validation though.
- Standing up for the cowless: The less powerful, or indeed the powerless, in any society need people to stand up for them. Brigid has made it clear this is part of my work and it is something I take seriously. This means writing to my TDs and senators sometimes. Sometimes it means donating time or money. Sometimes it means just talking to people. (even if I hadn’t mentioned Brigid, ye’d hve copped the spiritual value connection here, right? Right?)
- Rarely is something black and white: Y’see, I can’t even make this statement black and white. “always”, “never” are two words I rarely use anymore. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, but it ties into my honesty stuff. It’s so rare that any situation is black and white. (I mean, we can all agree that killing children is wrong right?) But there is nearly always context, grey areas, history, etc, etc, etc to consider.
Why are spiritual values important?
Well, I said earlier that spiritual values help us live our lives without having to make decisions without guidance. We can sometimes depend on other people for guidance, sure. But we can’t always be sure on what their agendas are. What are their goals for your decision?
Having a list of spiritual values you hold dear and have gathered for yourself offers that guidance. And you know they’re in line with your values and how you want to live your life, because you’ve determined them. Well – hopefully after reading this blog post, you’ll sit down and spend some time considering what are your spiritual values, anyway.
Because, our spiritual values, no more than our non-spiritual ones, can creep into our lives un-noticed. I used to have extremely strong values around attending Mass. That’s purely from my childhood where – as far as I can remember – I missed Mass once in the first 18years of my life and that’s when I was so sick from tonsilitis, my parents were concerned about leaving me alone in the house for the hour it took them to get to Mass and get home. They even skipped the Sunday papers that week to get home to me quicker. (I had slept for the entire time and I’m not sure I was really aware they were gone…)
For me, being aware of my spiritual values and reconnecting with them regularly helps me live my life in a way I’m happy with. I was miserable when I was working in the defence industry. It was only years afterwards that I considered it went completely against my (mostly) pacifist values. No wonder I was unhappy!
What are your spiritual values?
And how do you figure out what they are?
Well, what things guide your choices in life? If you look at a long list of values (seriously, millions of the damn things available on the internet), what resonates? What doesn’t?
If you look at what guides your decisions in life, you may find that sometimes, or indeed, often, you make decisions that are not in-line with your values. Spiritual or otherwise. That possibly might indicate the list of values you profess to be important are not, in actual fact, more important that the ones you use to guide your decisions. This isn’t the end of the world. Maybe you view your values as aspirational rather than current?
Be careful on that slope though. There’s no point in saying that ethical treatment of animals is important to you, if you then go and consistently buy meat regardless of how you know the animals are being treated. And in the modern age, there’s very little excuse for not educating yourself on how animals are treated in any given area or country.
Now that doesn’t mean you can never buy meat again. Perhaps you place the value of the nutrition the meat provides above the treatment of animals. That is a valid and ok choice to make. (Before everyone starts crowding in with “there’s loads of alternatives”, sure, maybe there are for you, but there may not be in every area of the world. Compassion is also a spiritual value people… one that’s ignored far too much!)
Honestly, I tend to find a bit of mediation and spending time with Brigid helps with this.
How to figure it out?
To a certain extent, separating your spiritual values from your normal, everyday ones might not be the biggest use of your time. For you, having a general list of values might be grand and fine.
But you might like to spend a bit of time uncovering what values you are espousing, consciously or not, and whether these are the values you want to espouse in the future. So here we go.
Sit down. I find sitting better than standing or lying, same as I find writing better than typing or speaking for this. But, as always, you do you. You can use the meditation to meet Brigid as a basis for this meditation, or indeed any other meditation you enjoy. The important thing is you get in touch with the core of who you are.
Spend some time looking back over decisions you’ve made and look at the driving factors that influenced them. This will almost certainly help you out with what values you were working with at that time. List them out. See how you feel about them.
It’s ok to not feel 100% happy. Seriously, it’s ok. We grow and learn. People change over time and what was ok 10 years ago probably isn’t ok now. The important thing is to recognise that you’ve changed and grown.
See how you feel about the list you come out with. See how you want to change it. Maybe put the list up on your desk or in your journal – somewhere you can see it regularly.
Then live your life.
You’ll be amazed at how easy some things get.
