Tag: escaping rigid spirituality

Brigid VIP Day – what is it?

I posted on Facebook recently about having a couple of slots for coaching and that I offer Brigid VIP days. And ok, I know this is the first time I’ve been public about this, so it’s not overly surprising that this was confusing for some people.

In this post, I’ll explore what the Brigid VIP day is, what structure it can take and how it can help your Brigid journey. (And don’t worry if you’re not travelling to Ireland any time soon – there’s a section at the end for you!)

What is a VIP day?

Essentially? A day where you get treated as a VIP. It’s often described something along the lines of a “high-impact session where a coach dedicates their focused attention for an entire day to one client“. Now, when I say “day” here, it usually includes, breakfast, lunch, and approx 6 hours of dedicated coaching.

Why yes, food is provided. The purpose of the day is to focus on what you specifically want and need. What are the urgent issues and obstacles facing you in your spiritual journey? (I know I’ve written about my coaching before, but this is far more intensive and focused. More on the fire than the water path!)

Now, as part of the VIP day in general, as I mentioned above, you get fed. But this isn’t just any auld sandwich and coffee. This is about making this day special and supportive for you.

A picture of me in a green dress with a green colouredy scarf around my waist (it was Madrid, and I needed the sun protection!) And yes, I tend to dress up for at least part of the Brigid VIP days!
This is one of my posh coaching pictures! Beautiful surroundings are an essential part of the process. And yes, I tend to dress up for at least part of the Brigid VIP days!

So, as part of our preparation for this day, we will be talking about the food and drink that best nourishes and supports you. What makes you feel like a VIP. And indeed, in many cases, why you feel you don’t deserve to be a VIP as well.

What makes a Brigid VIP day different?

Well, for a start, it’s Brigid based. As in, ye all know Brigid is my deity of choice. Kinda of choice, kinda by default. But we’ll leave that between me and herself. So, usually, when I take someone out for a VIP day, it’s heavily Brigid based.

We’ll visit Brigid’s Gardens in Kildare, or even pop down to Liscannor. Sometimes, we’ll spend a lot of time in the car… but equally, sometimes that means the in depth conversations come easier than if we’re sitting face to face.

We have longer to delve deep into the depths of what’s bothering you, holding you back, stopping you from grasping your spirituality with both hands and living your best life. Now, I know I have followers who have other deities as well – that’s grand. We can work through that as well.

The whole point is that you work on the things that are bothering you.

And fair warning – it’s not all spiritual in this. Seriously. We can start off by working on your spiritual journey and end up talking about how you’re gonna start up your own business to support yourself better in life. (True story).

How does this work

Well here’s the thing. The “day” involves a lot of preparation. And if you are to get the most out of it, you need to be involved in this preparation. And I really do want you to get the best out of your Brigid VIP day.

Step 1 is contacting me, saying you are interested in a VIP day. Seriously -the amount of people that overlook this step… and then appear more in the step 2 or 5 or something… So, if you’re interested in a VIP day, contact me first.

Step 2 is a call with me, to see if a VIP day is actually what you want or need. Y’see, I want this to be valuable, transformative, engaging and exactly what you want and need right now. If you insist, I will accommodate you, of course, unless I feel like it’s completely inappropriate for you. But there may be a better means to accomplish what you want and need. And I will point that out to you!

Step 3 is when we decide on the day. It’s a mutually agreeable day with no other commitments or responsibilities on either side. I mean, I barely even talk to my darlin husband on these days!!

Step 4 is when I confirm the basics with you: times, food preferences, what makes you feel like a VIP, what sort of experience do you want this to be. (Some people prefer more conversation, talking, others prefer more ritual and experiential. Still others go for a mix).

Step 5 is the Brigid VIP Day itself (see the next heading)

Step 6 is the follow up. You’ll get two weeks of WhatsApp contact with me to help cement in the learnings of the day. And of course, there’s always email with random questions that can be made more general.

The Brigid VIP day itself

So, the Brigid VIP day will start off with coffee or breakfast. I find 9am or 10am is the best starting time. It’s late enough that you can have a bit of a lie on and early enough to fit in a good 6 hours of engagement before we drop from exhaustion.

Oh, sorry, is that a spoiler? These days tend to be intense and that’s also why they’re not for everyone. When we look at a Brigid Vip Day, it takes the inensity of Brigid in the forge or the Healer with an emergency and focuses it tenfold.

This is a day for you. And part of that means you get fed, watered, rested when you need to. And this forms part of my discussions for the day involved.

So, we’ll start off with a quick chat, to outline the plan for the day and make sure we need no last minute changes. (A twisted ankle might put paid to the extensive period we planned on the beach for example. That’s ok, there’s always alternatives!)

Then we’ll get breakfast. Or we may even have the chat over breakfast. Now, this is important. You don’t put your hand in your pocket for the entire day and you choose exactly what it is you want whenever we stop for a meal, a cuppa or a snack. The amount of arguments I get over this. The pure hesitancy people feel about just receiving things. It’s a skill and I will help you learn it. šŸ˜

Then we’ll head into the morning session. This usually lasts about 2-2.5 hours. If we are doing experiential stuff, this is when I prefer to do it. So, if we’re visiting someplace. Or working with our bodies. Maybe doing a ritual. It helps to do this physical stuff in the morning and work up a good appetite for lunch, in my opinion.

This is subject to weather occasionally. Or your preferences. I mean, if you want to spend the morning preparing for ritual and the afternoon in ritual, that’s absolutely fine. Like I keep saying, this is your day.

Then we have a nice long lunch. With or without alcohol, according to your preference. If you are doing a specific sort of ritual after lunch, we may have a light lunch and a more luxurious dinner later on. It depends on what’s happening.

The afternoon is another 2-2.5 hours session as well, then. And again – it depends on your preferences.

How many times will I type out the sentence “This is your Brigid VIP Day” in this post?

But I’ll keep saying it.

By the end of the day, you’ll have had a transformative experience. You’ll be clear on what’s next for you. You’ll feel excited, happy, engaged.

And we will plan an official follow up call as well. Just to make sure things bed in.

But what about if I’m not in Ireland?

Well there’s a few ways to do this. First off, if you wish, you can pay for my airfare to where ever you are and pay for overnight accommodation (if it’s needed). I will say though, that if it’s a flight of over 6 hours, I will be insisting on business class for the trip back. Purely for my own sanity. In that case, I will check out the local restaurants in advance, do the driving etc. and the day follows on as above.

But I do see that the above is not an option for a lot of people. Many of you have pointed out if you had the money to pay for my air fares, you’d have the money for your own blessed airfares anyway… Which is very true. But if a Brigid VIP day is something you are really interested in and travel isn’t an option for you, it might be possible for me. Keep that in mind.

Virtual Brigid VIP Day

I have run virtual days before. Now, I’m going to say, the experience isn’t quite the same – virutal hugs are not the same as real hugs. I don’t care what anyone says.

But the value from the day is the same. There are ways to work around almost anything. Want a live video visit to Brigid’s Gardens in Kildare? Totally doable.

A particular type of food? I’ll need your address, but it will be delivered.

Want a day out of your normal environs? Tell me the criteria and I’ll arrange somewhere with internet connections for us to meet.

The preparation, the transformation, the conversations… all of these will be as good as the real-life Brigid VIP Day. Trust me. But I do want to make this accessible to everyone. Possible one key difference is we will have more movement breaks on a virtual day. Even if it’s just a head roll, we will move more consciously, because we will probably be moving less in general.

But we will still spend the time in preparation. If there are specific materials we need, I will arrange to have them delivered to you. (I say that like it will be a personal carrier, but honestly, internet shopping is my forte.) If the day devolves into an online shopping trip, because that’s what you need – this will happen. (And yes, it has happened. I am an expert in finding clothes that fit larger bodies, are comfy and look good. And sometimes, you want to find something particular for your spiritual work and finding the right clothes, in the right sizes, and of the right quality is a task in itself.)

Finishing up now

Cost of a Brigid VIP day depends on a lot of different factors, as these tend to be bespoke days. But if this sounds like something you are interested in, give me a shout and we will set up a call.

I honestly didn’t believe the value of these days until I went on one myself. And it was amazing. I mean, ok, mine involved a morning dip in the Pacific which was pure heavenly and for most of the year in Ireland, foreigners tend to need wetsuits for the Atlantic. So, y’know. It can’t be a direct replication.

But no two days are. Because these are bespoke to you, your relationship to yourself, to Brigid, to your spirituality… they are all unique days.

Hope that answers all the questions people have been asking, but sure shout up if not and I’ll reply! orlagh@mybrigidsforge.com

Rigid Spirituality

I don’t associate Brigid with rigid spirituality. At all. But she is linked with some rigid spiritual structures (ahem, Roman Catholic Church…) and it can be so difficult for people coming from these rigid spiritualities to then explore a looser form of spirituality. So, I’m going to talk about it.

What do I mean by “rigid spirituality”?

Honestly, the most common measure I use for this, is assessing whether people within this spirituality expect everyone to adhere to their social, religious and moral mores.

It sounds easy right? It’s not necessarily a clear rule, but it’s reasonable. I mean, I know plenty of Catholics, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc, etc, etc, who don’t expect anyone to live by their rules. Which is good, cos there are some conflicts even within the broad categories of religious organisations.

A picture of what I think is a nebula, white circle in top of the pic with a blueish background and a wider cloud like corona around it. Towards the bottom right, there's a ray-like red wash of colour. And dots of white/ star like images scattering the background. Got it when searching for "rigid spirituality".
Nebula? Not sure. But this is one of the pics that came up when I searched for “rigid spirituality”

So, for a bit more of a concrete definition of “rigid spirituality”, here we go. First off, there are likely to be a lot of rules. Not just about how to worship, but what to wear, eat, who you may engage with, how you interact with the world.

When I think of these sort of rules, I kinda think of documentaries on the various “family compounds” in Utah. (Not that there’s anything wrong with Utah, it’s just most of the documentaries I’ve seen are based there.) These are usually one man as head of the household and multiple wives. (In the documentaries. Not in Utah in general. Nothing against Utah ok?)

There are strict lines of authority in these religious organisations. There can be very strict control over finances, even outside the family home. Huge emphasis on socialising and engaging with the religious community above secular community or those outside the community. Marriage within the community. Family only within the community. Rigid spiritual structures.

This seems focused on one particular type of spirituality.

Yeah you’re right There are other ways to express rigid spirituality. I mean, if you follow the Roman Catholic Catechism to the letter, it’s fairly strict. Over the years, various things have dropped off the list. It’s no longer a requirement in Ireland anyway for a woman to cover her hair when entering a church, although you do see the remnants of this tradition in the whole “hats for weddings” thing.

When I was growing up, I never considered Catholicism that rigid. The rules didn’t really appear to intrude on my life at all. But when I look back, there were some fairly rigid spirituality rules that kinda permeated my life.

For example, I can count on one hand with fingers left over the number of times I missed Mass as a child. Because it was family routine, I never considered it rigid, until I started looking around me.

The Catholic messages around abortion and having multiple sexual partners entered my subconscious, although probably not with the intentions the church had. I figured having been assaulted at a young age, I was useless as a life partner. Might as well have fun then…

I have a whole series on Catholicism, so check it out…

Why is this a problem?

Well, here’s the thing. Many people leaving rigid spirituality structures can struggle a bit with their new “freedom”. Indeed, the freedom can feel as restricting as the previous restrictions from fear if nothing else.

There can appear to be unspoken rules everywhere in general life. And this affects women more than men, because, patriarchy is inherent in the majority (read: all) of the rigid spirituality structures I’ve come across. So, when you are leaving a strict set of rules, where you always knew how to behave because the rules were usual explicit, it can be really difficult to move into a less rigid, more secular role in society.

For example, if you have always been restricted in your clothing, so that there really was very little choice in what you wore, choosing what to wear in the morning could be reasonably straight forward. Then you leave that environment and there appear to be zero rules. Except there are. Lots of rules really. But no one makes them obvious. No one hands you a rule book. You have to figure it out as you go.

Now take that uncertainty, and think of your spiritual life. There may be parts of your previous spirituality, no matter how rigid, that were comforting and helpful to you. But now, because you have left that community, you’ve lost that connection and those supports.

What do you do?

Well, honestly, this is part of my work and part of what Brigid’s Path Collective is about. It does start with getting to know yourself, as I wrote about in the last post. We move forward in deciding what’s important for you on your spiritual path. How can we develop a path for you that helps you, comforts you, supports you?

Breaking free from rigid spirituality

This work isn’t easy. And many people go their whole lives without even questioning their spirituality. This isn’t work that everyone is drawn to. Most people will just trundle along.

But for some of us, this isn’t enough. We’re not willing to just go with the flow. Not in terms of spirituality. Because it’s too important to leave to chance, or the community you were born into.

Start by questioning. Are questions allowed in your community? If not, that is a major red flag. Do you feel restricted in your current path? Another reason to start questioning.

What do you want from your spiritual life? It’s a real tough one and not one with a quippy, one-line answer. But with hard work, you can get there!