High Control Religion

I talk a lot about rigid, restrictive religions, and really what I’m talking about are high control religions. So this week, I want to explore what I mean by this and why I talk so much about them.

What is a high control religion?

There are many different ways to define or nail down in some way these sorts of organisations. Here are some common traits that are included in most of the definitions:

• demands obedience
• discourages or outlaws questioning… well anything, really
• expects subservience and loyalty
• discourages serious relationships (romantic or otherwise) outside the group
• insists that leadership within the group is always right
• there is an element of thought control
• group conformity is vital
• there is an element of emotional control/ only certain “positive” emotions are acceptable

We’ll look at them in a bit more detail as we go, but I’d say a few people reading this are thinking, “wow, that kinda sounds familiar from a mainstream religion”. Well, yes, that’s the thing.

Many of our so-called mainstream religions could be described as high control. Now, those of you who have been reading the blog for a while, know I was born Catholic in Ireland. And honestly, I didn’t realise just how much the church controlled my behaviour, my thoughts, my morals until I started unpacking them. Things that I had thought were normal and widespread, were just… not.

So, yes, learning about high control religions can be a bit interesting…

Obedience

Now, I know a lot of ye are thinking, “surely obedience is necessary in any religion or religious setting”. Well yes and no. Y’see, a high control religion tends to really focus on obedience to hierarchy, or to those deemed “better” or “higher” than the individual in the group.

Think of the priest in the Catholic religion. First off – obedience to the bishop is an essential part of the vows that the priest takes. Place in the hierarchy. Their role includes leading the local religious activity, teaching others how to pray, supporting those through difficult times. But seriously? The priest appears to be the one interpreting the Word of God for the normal lay congregation member.

But given the priest’s vow of obedience to his bishop (because in the Catholic Church they are all male…) you can see how “interpreting the word of God” can be “passing on the message from the Church hierarchy”.

This leads to things like bishops in the US telling their congregations how to vote for example. (Does a religion get more high control than that? Well yes, but still…) Doesn’t happen so much in Ireland any more. Even during the 2018 #Repealthe8th referendum, the Church was fairly quiet on the whole thing. They left it to organisations like the Iona Institute (no I’m not linking, horrific people) to lead that charge. But I notice a different approach in the States. And indeed from other religious organisations over there as well. But that’s a different post…

No questions?

Those who have worked with me, whether through full on teaching or spiritual coaching, will know I strongly encourage questioning everything. There’s a reason for this! I firmly believe that there is no One True Way^TM

But there are plenty of religious organisations that have it hard baked into their doctrine. (Ahem… Catholic Church again and indeed Christianity in general!) And questioning that doctrine, or questioning why things are the way they are can lead to negative consequences from a high control religion.

Now to be fair, there are priests in the Catholic Church that allow and even sometimes encourage questioning, but it’s not widespread. And not being allowed to ask questions is a major red flag in any environment. Outside of emergencies anyway. If the house is on fire, maybe don’t stop to ask what started the fire on the way out, y’know?

But aside from that, particularly with spiritual matters, where the journey is so personal, questions should be encouraged not prevented.

Subservience/ loyalty

Here’s the thing, in high control religions, the term “loyalty” takes on a whole new meaning. It usually means unquestioning, immediate obedience. No thinking of your own. Do, don’t think.

Actually, sounds kinda like I imagine initial military training to be…

But religion isn’t (usually) military in nature. Although that right there could be another sign of a high control religion… But in reality, are you expected to make obvious shows of respect to those in spiritual authority over you? Are you expected to only follow orders with no autonomy of your own?

Chances are…

No relationships outside the group

This one is a big one. And I want you to think about what serious relationships might mean:

• Close friendships
• Romantic relationships
• Family relationships
• Memberships of professional organisations
• Work friends

There are a lot of relationships in modern life that are fairly close in nature. I mean, my work colleagues usually know more about what goes on in my daily life than my husband – purely cos I spend so much more of my time with them! Imagine if I wasn’t allowed to develop those relationships? Not only would it severely limit my earning potential, my career progression, it would also severely limit my mental health.

And let’s face it, when it comes to mental health, high control religions are not really at the forefront…

Leadership is always right/ thought control

OK I’m smashing these together, because I think even the idea of leadership always being right is a form of thought control as well. Demanding that you always accept leadership is right means squashing your own thoughts and opinions. Subsuming them into the leadership thoughts and opinions.

Now thought control in general is very interesting, but in the context of a high control religion it becomes a bit easier. If your religious leaders dictate what TV you can watch, what books and magazines you can read, what information you have access to… well, it’s a lot easier to control the direction your thoughts take anyway.

Think about how the media presents information to us anyway. Then think about the limitations of perspective you get if you always get your information from, example, one particular news program. And this works both ways – both right leaning and left leaning organisations put a spin on the news and information they present, despite best efforts to be neutral in some way.

Then you consider the ones that make no pretense at balanced views or neutrality, but if they’re the only media you have access to, it definitely will influence your thinking.

Now, look, it can be difficult to find a balanced viewpoint in the word even when you’re not in a high control religion. So if you do come across someone trying to recover from a situation like this, have a bit of patience ok?

Group conformity

Oh this is a big one. This might be as simple as imposing a standard of clothing (think some of the “modest dress” that you see on documentaries of extremely fundamentalist cults) or it could be as strict as having everyone wear the same clothes, sleep in the same buildings, follow the same schedule, eating the same food… basically no individuality at all.

And when you’re in that sort of high control situation, even if it’s not a religion, individual thought gets really difficult. If you never see so much as someone dressed in a different colour… it’s hard to maintain that individuality of thought.

If everyone around you is doing the same thing, at the same time, day in, day out… the higher thought functions kinda fade away a bit. (I’m paraphrasing some fairly intense psychological stuff here here obviously) And there are benefits to having similarity of dress and routine – makes organising groups much easier. Look at schools for example – classes tend to be in units of the same time length. Because it makes it easier to match time tables if nothing else!

Emotional control

I know. You’re thinking how in hell does someone else control someone’s emotions? Well, ridiculously easily actually. There’s a book called “Discovering Psychology” that includes three distinct components to an emotion:

• a subjective experience
• a physiological response
• a behavioural or expressive response

Now, an outsider might not be able to control your physiological response – that’s hormones, heart beat, breathing, that sort of thing. But they can control your behavioural response. And that in turn will change your emotions and your emotional experience. Think of all the religions that maintain people should always present a pleasant face, be happy all the time, that sort of thing. But, y’know, not too happy. Cos that would be bad. For some reason.

Think of yourself, growing up. I’m assuming there were probably emotions that were more welcome than others in most households. I know growing up showing anger was not acceptable. So I learned that I didn’t even feel anger. That lead to a great mental health state as you might imagine. (That would be sarcasm, there…)

But from an organisational point of view, from a control point of view, it’s a lot easier to control people who are constantly working to control their thoughts, their emotions and their expressions. It takes so much energy!!

What to do?

Well ok, after escaping from a high control religious organisation, I’m going to suggest, you’re gonna need therapy of some kind. Just to help you realise what’s been going on, what has been imposed on you and what’s really not considered normal in the outside world.

Unfortunately, for many escaping these situations, money and resources are a real problem. And, pretty much no matter where you are, therapy costs money! So this can take time.

For me, once you have food and shelter sorted, spend some time getting to know yourself if you have the energy to do so. If you don’t, and food and shelter take up all available resources, that’s ok. Well, it’s really not ok and I hate to think of anyone living like that, but from a getting to know yourself point of view, it’s ok to postpone!

I have a huge interest in this area because of the work I do with helping folks find a spiritual path that supports and nourishes them. I talk about it a lot! But I think educating people about what high control religions are and the signs to look out for is hugely important. Critical thinking skills are our most important skills in the modern world.

And if you are recovering from a high control religion, but are also looking to engage in a spiritual path, but have no clue where or how to start, get in touch!