Oh yes, people, I’m going there. We’re talking about Brigid and sex. (I don’t mention sex too often here really, a quick search just gave me this blog!! Which is not where I expected to find a sex mention tbh…)
We’ll see about that working. I may have to change it to a link. If there isn’t a Youtube video of the Salt n Pepa classic, Let’s talk about sex, baby, up there, someone comment for me? It looks grand in preview, but we all know about how I trust code…
Anyway. Back to sex.
For those on the email list, ye already know that last week I got the results from the college course I’ve been doing for the last year and I got a first class honours. (I know, I was shocked as well, given how few lectures I actually attended!) And for the most part, I found it really engaging. Plus, y’know, I enjoy sex. Not everyone does, and if you don’t, it’s ok if you want to skip this one. Because we don’t often think about our deities and sex. Unless you want to go down the “sexy goddess” route. I wouldn’t advise it with any of the Irish deities, but you do you.
Why I did a course on sex ed
Yeah, it’s a bit of a strange one I know. But I really do have an interest in learning more about sex and about how sex is taught. I even taught a course on menstruation spirituality myself a few years ago (you can check that out here)
I’ve got books like the one above (The Sacred Sex Bible by Cassandra Lorins) they have been essential to my journey of accepting that a) sex is not a sin; b) sex is fun and c) just cos my sex life doesn’t look like the traditional “acceptable” sex life doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
And yeah, Brigid has been a part of that.
But what tipped me over the edge with doing this course was the attitude to a 14-yr-old asking for ways to keep themselves safe during sex. Now, yeah, I know, the social and life outcomes for having sex later than 14 are significant. But closing ranks and just not telling kids about sex and how to keep themselves safe just doesn’t work. If it did, there would have been no reason for Mother and Baby Homes in Ireland.
I was genuinely shocked at some of the ways in which information was imparted to this teenager. And, if I’m honest, maybe the information I did manage to give her wasn’t brilliant, but it was accurate at least. Like, no condoms are not 100% certain to stop infections or pregnancy… but they’re up at what? 98% effective? That’s not nothing… So I did this course. I wanted to learn more about the latest teachings in how to impart sex ed to people.
Not just teenagers, because there’s a lot of grown adults out there that could do with some extra information.
But seriously, Orlagh – Brigid and sex?
I know, I get seriously annoyed if people talk about Brigid as a sex goddess. But, given we don’t have a tradition of virgin births in Irish lore, the fact that she had children means she had sex. It’s not like Brigid and sex are two words that never come together at all in my practice. I have found that incorporating some aspects of the sacred sex I’ve read about into my sex life can help heal some of the trauma I’ve experienced in the past. (This worked for me – it might not work for you and if you’re suffering from sex-related trauma, I’d seriously advice getting professional help rather than taking advice from a random person on the internet, ok?)
It’s important in Irish lore to remember that our deities are not usually the singular God(dess) of X. They just don’t work with that. The best we can do is to say, well you know, through this bit of lore, we can link this deity to this aspect of life. So, me linking Brigid with sex because she had kids – it’s a me thing. UPG even. It’s not generally accepted. Childbirth? Sure, lots of people associate her with childbirth, but sex? Oh no.
Mind you, there is a saying in Ireland that Gaybo only invented sex in the 80’s.(Although the internet is telling me “gaybo” is a derogatory term for a gay man? Seriously?? Wtf people!!) So it’s possible all births were thought to be virgin births unless definitely proved otherwise. I doubt it though. From the other fragments of lore we have, sex wasn’t that unknown in the ancient world. Just read up on Queen Medb (of the friendly thighs – although, if you’re thinking of working with Queen Medb, do some work on her before you think about her thighs)
For me, Brigid definitely had sex. That’s there in the lore with her sons. But she also has an interest in her followers health – and that includes sexual health. Which includes, just by the way, attitudes to sex as well we what we usually term sexual health. I’m not downgrading people who don’t have sex by the way. When I say attitudes to sex, I mean that whatever you’re doing, you’re happy to be doing this and you’re not feeling shame or guilt over it. Unless you’re breaking one of the “consenting adults in private” provisions of course. Then, you might need to reconsider a few things. Especially around the consenting part. That’s always necessary.
So how do you incorporate Brigid into your sex life?
Ew. No. Just no. My sex life is between me and humans. No deities invited. Just to be very clear. Not even Brigid.
On the other hand, I see no problem in asking Brigid for helping me with the following:
- Strength to deal with past sex-related trauma
- Help with considering the best course of action to take
- Assistance in working out if I’m happy with taking a course of action
- Direction on whether something is appropriate right now, or ever
- Disection on whether this is something I need to work on or not
It’s a list that could be expanded to any other part of my life as well, these are the things I think about when I’m dealing with Brigid. And some of my work for her is sex related as well – that spiritual menstruation course is an example. I tried to make it more inclusive than previous courses I’ve taken, because while I’m cis, I found it hard to connect with the maiden, mother enchantress/queen, crone structure. So I created a less gendered one.
And as part of that course I did, I created a 12 week course for people who menstruate to learn more about their bodies, how they work and how to work with said bodies and make choices that work for them. I’m putting in a special sign up below this paragraph – throw your email in there if you wish to hear more on this. This is separate from the main list, so even if you’re already on there and you want to learn more about the 12 week course, drop the address in there.
And of course, if you don’t want to know more about it, that’s no bother either.
So Brigid and sex isn’t really a topic?
Honestly, I think it’s a massive topic, and I might do something longer on this at some point. But it was in my mind right now, because of those results last week, so ye got these meanderings around Brigid and sex. And where my mind is at the minute with it.
I do think that as so many of us in the world today suffer from sex-related trauma, it’s a major topic. Unfortunately, I only have experience guiding me here, not training or qualifications. So I’m trying to be very careful here not to be telling people to do anything.
But don’t think you can’t talk to Brigid about sex. She’s not asexual in my experience (not that there’d be anything wrong if she were!) To me, as in her messages to me around sex, are that sex is part of a healthy life for those who enjoy it. It’s not like water, which is a requirement for everyone human on earth as far as I know. But it is important. And if you have an interest in sex, but struggle with incorporating it into your life in a way you enjoy, well you can ask Brigid for help. Don’t suffer in silence – there’s few enough pleasurable activities that can be 100% free if you choose in this life!