Tag: brigid

Brigid myths

A picture of the mural in Drogheda, with one half showing a green cloaked nun and the other a red haired goddess. Brigid myths might have you believing one or the other, but really - at this point - there's no concrete evidence.
The mural by Belfast-based artist Friz in Drogheda, celebrating both saint and goddess

It was Imbolc this weekend past (well depending on when you celebrate it) and wow, were the Brigid Myths flying. So, I thought I’d settle a few bits and bobs here. And, as always with Brigid, there’s a lot of fuzziness and liminality at play.

Brigid Myth 1: She’s only a goddess that the Christians stole

I’m gonna be honest here, I struggle with this one. Because stealing old celebrations and overplanting them with new Christian ones was a definite feature of the early Church. Just check out Gregory the Great. As far as the thinking went, it made it easier for people to convert if they didn’t have to change where they worshipped and if there was a fine building there anyway, why bother knocking it down and rebuilding. The early Church was a great proponent of the re-use/ re-cycle methodology of spreading the faith.

In his more recent episode, Finn Dwyer of the Irish History podcast explored the possibility that St. Brigid was a real woman, as opposed to a mythical figure. I’ll leave his episode below for you to find out his final conclusion.

Brigid Myth 2: She’s only a saint that the neopagans stole

I mean, ok, there’s a bit more evidence for this thought process. There are, after all, only 4 bits of pre-Christian lore (all recorded well after Christianity came to these isles) on Brigid the goddess. (You can check out my very brief intro to these four bits of lore, for free, here)

We have, in fact, far more writings about the saint than we do the goddess. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t exist. There are suggestions that it is possible Brigid was brought to the shores of Ireland by… of all things… a group of Brigantes in north-east England. (Well, modern day north-east England. I don’t think England existed at the time as an entity)

I know it seems terrible, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and occasionally, something good comes out of England. (My husband would be another example…)

Brigid Myth 3: She’s meek and loving and mild

Sweet holy fuck no. Look I’m sorry. But the swearing is necessary. There’s a reason I called this place the Forge and not the Soft, Cushy, Temperate Place.

Brigid is hot. Fiery. Have a temper. Even in the hagiographies of the saints they couldn’t hide this. This has to be one of the worst Brigid myths out there. And it’s lulling people into a false sense of security. No. Just fucking no.

I mean she can be. But it’s more in the way of a tough doctor who has been through some shit and can be soft when they make a big effort and someone really, really needs it. Just stop with this one.

Brigid Myth 4: Goddess of hearth and home

Look, I get it. It’s an off shoot of the “meek and mild” bollox. It’s not true. We don’t have anything linking her to hearth and home.

As a goddess, she is a Poet (Old Irish sense of lawyer, creative writer, academic), Smith, and Healer. Gonna be honest – all of these have until the very recent past been male dominated professions. Yes there is a sense she may have been a woman-physician, as a physician that caters to women. But it’s still a tough gig. And none of the above professions lend themselves to a domestic goddess. (Pun not really intended there)

I get the idea of being linked to fire. I get it. But it’s not in the lore.

I don’t know where in the name of Jesus this came from. We have no real links between Brigid and bread. Dairy – butter in particular – oh yes. Oodles of links in fact. Domesticated animals? Absolutely, goddess and saint.

But bread???

Not really.

If you want to bake bread as part of your Imbolc celebrations, more power to you. The Irish consider bread an essential utensil in the whole “moving the butter to the mouth” process. There’s nothing better than a loaf fresh from the oven, dripping in fresh butter.

But there’s nothing linking Brigid to bread directly.

Brigid Myth 6: There’s no need to pronounce the B in Imbolc

Ok, not technically a Brigid myth as such. But definitely linked to my rising blood pressure this weekend. For this one, I even did an insta video on the topic.

(And if you’re not following me over on Instagram, sure you can drop that at the same time)

But there is most definitely a B to be pronounced in Imbolc. It is not “Immolc”.

Brigid Myth 7: There is One True Day to celebrate Imbolc.

Again, this is more Imbolc than Brigid, but sure, feck it, the two are intertwined in modern times.

There are a number of says and times to celebrate Imbolc. I most often celebrate on 31st January. Because it’s the eve of St. Brigid’s Day (1st February). Other people choose “astrological Imbolc”, the midpoint between solstice and equinox (this year, that’s today, 3rd Feb). Still others link their festivities to Candlemas, 2nd Feb.

And, if I’m being really honest, since Ireland recently got a bank holiday for the occasion, if there’s a big ritual or group event I’m doing, it’s going to be on that bank holiday weekend.

While in the modern world, we like to think of dates being right, correct and accurate, it’s not always the case. I know people who celebrate Samhain from dark moon to dark moon, since they view it as a season, not a single night. I kinda do the same with Imbolc, but it’s most of January and some of February.

Most of the traditions in Ireland happen around the 31st January. Check out Duchas for more on that. But remember, your spiritual path has to fit your life. What you do in private is up to you and no one else.

Don’t be calling things traditional that aren’t though.

Finally…

We had all the usual shite about Brigid being associated with this crystal and that colour. We had the arguments over 3-pronged vs 4-pronged cross. All the usual stuff. I’ve given up engaging with it at this point. Although I will be trying to do a video showing how I do the 3-pronged cross. Cos, yeah – it’s the 3rd February and I’ve not made my crosses yet this year!

I hope this helps. Please share it where you think it might do some good!

Listening to ourselves

I struggling with listening to my body. And I think this is something we all struggle with: listening to ourselves. Even when we desperately need rest!

Last week started by me being attacked by the shed in our garden. (Pic of similar shed below for entertainment purposes) I came into work and said the shed had jumped out at me and hit the car.

Everyone knew what I meant. Everyone realised I didn’t actually believe the shed had jumped at me. If ever a shed existed that is unlikely to jump anywhere, it’s the stereotypical Irish stone shed.

I'm fairly certain we could learn from this shed about listening to ourselves. It's a stone built Irish shed, with corrugated roof and one slit window, one slightly square window, grass in the foreground. It's doing nothing but what it's built to do!
Very typical construction here

What was going on?

Apparently, either an ear infection, a sinus infection or a wonderful mixture of both. On finally heading to the doctor later, he decided the nuclear option was best and put me on antibiotics. And painkilling cream in case it was my jaw.

Why am I bothering telling you this?

Because I didn’t back into the shed, ahem, I mean, the shed didn’t attack me, completely unprovoked, because I was on top of my game. I was dizzy, tired, sick, and probably, in hindsight, shouldn’t have been driving.

Small details.

The key thing is, I’d been fighting something off for weeks. It wasn’t quite bad enough to take time off work, or, horror of horrors, actually go see the doctor. But it was bad enough to make my life miserable. If I’d been better versed in listening to myself, I might have picked up on just how bad I’d felt sooner.

But I didn’t. Because I have been well schooled in the art of not “listening to ourselves”.

Listening to ourselves in a world which doesn’t want us to

Y’see, if I had listened to myself, I might have realised that this thing wasn’t going away. It had been operating in my system and my system was kinda containing it, but not really defeating it.

And a cold/flu/ear infection/ sinus infection thing that’s lasting for a month? Probably needs something more than Vick’s Vaporub to fix it.

I had work to get through.

I’m working (slowly) on a part time doctorate.

Running Brigid’s Forge and EngineerHer.

Managing home, school and work.

There’s a lot on. And I’m not saying this, because I think I’ve got it worse than anyone else. We’ve all got a lot on.

The modern world is not made for simplicity.

And that’s all before you take into account the shitshow that’s currently going down in numerous places across the world… (but, y’know, hard side-eye towards the US here)

It’s easier for the world at large if we don’t listen to ourselves. It’s easier for our families, our workplaces, everyone, if we just keep on keeping on.

And there’s times we have to do that New baby, audit in work, major project… whatever it is, there are times we actually do have to keep on keeping on. But not always.

And we fall into the trap. We cope, because we see no other way.

Listening to ourselves leads to failure, or dropping the ball on something.

Hard lessons

One of the strongest lessons I learned earlier in my career was when I was off work, sick, for 3 months. I came back and checked in with my boss on all the things that were deemed so important, so vital to the running of the business.

90% of them hadn’t been kept up while I was away. So, I took a radical step. I stopped doing them.

If they weren’t important enough for someone else to pick up, then why was I wasting my time? I immediately freed up almost 20hours a week.

HALF MY WORKING WEEK.

I had been running myself ragged working on reports, presentations, information… that nobody really needed.

I had most definitely not been listening to myself.

Now, mind you, I’m a slow learner. That wasn’t the first, or indeed, the last time I work myself sick. Last week was a minor example of it.

But we have to ask ourselves: when we don’t listen to ourselves, what good are we to our people?

Whether our people are family, friends, colleagues, dependents, whatever – what good are we?

That old thing about no one praising someone at their funeral for spending all that time in the office?

The Act of Radical Listening to Ourselves

I read Louis Hay‘s work on racial self care years ago. It’s a bit dated now, but there is some good stuff in there. First and foremost, she advocates listening to ourselves. Our bodies. Our souls.

And taking the time to rest and allow these messages to come through.

In a world where the powers that be appear to want us chaotic and confused, resting and knowing ourselves (those of us with the privilege to do so, of course) is radical.

It’s an expression of intent.

Or an invitation for care.

Rest.

Absorption and integration.

(And while we’re on the topic – yes, you can grab a limited spot on the upcoming Imbolc retreat to do just this, if you wish)

But in the meantime, think about how you can build in listening to yourself as a continual thing. How do you build in rest when it’s needed? How do you recognise you need rest? (Highly recommend not backing into the shed as a wake up call. Seriously!)

Is it meditation? Time away from everyone? Regular catch ups with close friends? How do you best build in that time?

Drop me a line and let me know!

Rest

Rest is a common enough theme for me at this time of year. This year though, I’m feeling a pull towards more. More rest? Certainly. But a different kind.

Even the weather agrees. Yesterday, it lashed down all day. Ag stealladh báistí you might say.

Today? Well look below.

Even the weather is encouraging rest! A picture of my garden, surrounded by fog. Trees are vague shapes in the background, the sky is various shades of grey, but at least the grass is green!
Yes this is what I woke up to this morning. Well this is a couple of hours after I woke up cos a pic at 7am would just show black…

It’s not that I was planning on a massively active day today, or anything. But when the weather agrees with my own inner feelings, my gut… sometimes it’s ok to listen.

Privilege

Yes, it is most certainly a privilege to talk about rest right now.

Iran. Ukraine. Yemen. Gaza. Sudan. And so many others. (Yes that line is copied directly from my threads post yesterday!)

The people in those places, and many places in the US, I’m not forgetting ye, can’t afford to rest right now. They have a fight to wage. And they’ve been waging it – for years in some cases.

So, when I say I’m recognising my privilege, I mean it.

When I’m talking about rest for me right now, I’m talking about the space before stepping back in. The stillness in allowing flow, rather than forcing issues.

I’m thinking about space that comes before the action.

So what rest do I mean?

The earth is still resting for the year. Oh, we can see the signs of growth, the small green shoots coming up, the signs of life returning after the stillness of the winter.

(Although “stillness of winter” isn’t too accurate in Ireland!!)

And if, like me, you have been resting over the winter and are now looking to do something, you might be thinking “more rest????”

Fair. But listen to me a while.

For those of us not currently in an active war zone (ahem… “active” and “warzone” are open to interpretation here, side eyes to a certain Turtle Island government) we can take time, regroup, and then be ready to step in.

It might not be an option for you in your whole life, but maybe there are parts of your life that you can use this time for rest. Maybe you need to think about areas where it’s just not the time to be pushing right now.

There are areas of my life where pushing, chasing, forcing issues – it’s just not the right time.

It’s still time for planning, preparing the ground, resting.

Examples?

I want several things to happen this year in work. But now isn’t the time to chase them.

  • a promotion for a team member
  • knowing what my bonus and merit increase is
  • what are the plans for the business in the coming 2-3 years

I already have an idea about timelines for all of these and while I might want to know, right now, right this second, there’s no point in forcing this issue.

But areas I can move forward on:

  • my personal activities in work
  • gathering evidence to support my promotion activities
  • taking the next logical steps for the current ways the business is going

It’s amazing how, no matter how many different businesses I work in, I see the same patterns for the year…

It works in my personal life as well. I can’t force us buying a house. But I can make the daily steps that will lead to that at some point in the future.

I can take a rest from relentlessly pushing forward on my spiritual path, but still take the time to assimilate and bed in the learnings and changes so far.

It’s ok for an activity or a time to not look productive.

Rest as an act of rebellion

Again – this is privilege.

But rest, time spend not being productive can be an act of rebellion in a world that demands productivity at all times.

Time spent assimilating and re-grouping before the next round of activity is not laziness, not evil. It’s essential.

And it’s a lot easier for the various “bodies” (government, societal, religious, political, etc) to control us when we don’t give ourselves time.

Our minds and bodies need time to rest. Need time to not be productive. Not be a willing cog in the machine.

As women, we carry a lot. (It’s multiplied by Black women, women under oppression, women in war zones… intersectionality, remember???) And sometimes, even a single deep breath can feel like an immense act.

I get it.

But think about where in your life you can rest right now. Where do you need time for assimilation?

What is it ok to stop pushing?

And simply… rest.

Ascending to Imbolc

Ascending to Imbolc and lighting candles all round us! A female looking hand holds a small thin lit candle against a background of more candles.
Your Imbolc prep requires candles, right?

I’ve written before around preparing for Imbolc. I mean, I generally write a few times a year on the topic. But this year, I want to discuss ascending to Imbolc. Because, I want to change the focus a little bit.

I want to talk about coming up out of winter and into Spring.

Out of darkness, into the light.

Away from dreams and into action.

Do you get the feeling I’m projecting? The energy of the earth is starting to wake up again. The plants have already started growing again here in Ireland. No, seriously.

Climate change is real.

Ascending to Imbolc

But what do I mean by ascending to Imbolc?

Just that, really. The movement from dreaming to doing. The change in energy of the earth. Part of the year when we start thinking about “new year, new you” rubbish.

A picture of some green snowdrops with white petals showing against brown twigs and brown earth.
Snowdrops, in Dublin on St. Stephen’s Day

It won’t be long before we’ll be proclaiming the “grand stretch in the evenings”.

And, yes, I know, half of ye, at least, are still in a stupor of Christmas turkey and ham, boxes of sweets, mince pies, etc. But that’s half the reason that Imbolc feels like an ascent rather than a descent.

The energy is low at this time of the year. We’ve just passed midwinter, the Solstice, when the sun is at its weakest (in the Northern Hemisphere – of you’re in Australia, New Zealand, Oceania, etc – come back to this post round the end of June, ok?)

But now?

Now the energy’s rising! (From about 25 seconds in anyway)

We’re moving upward. Out of the winter blankies. Out of the earth. Into the sun. Ascending to Imbolc.

Practically speaking?

Well, it’s the perfect time to start thinking about developing that daily spiritual relationship with Brigid. Or thinking about developing your own spiritual path. But aside from that.

Ascending to Imbolc can mean putting in the last preparations for the festival. Cleaning the house, clearing out the energy after being stuck in winter. Shaking out the cobwebs – figuratively and literally. Read something challenging – either because of literacy level or challenging ideas.

Start gathering what supplies you need, or planning when your ritual will take place. Or start planning to do nothing at all, and how does that look?

Look for the signs – things like those snowdrops. Or the grass growing. Maybe buds on trees, or even leaves.

Recognise the world around you is ascending as well. The development and growth during winter is usually underground – seeds and plants hibernating in a way. And we do it as well. Get through to the end of the year.

But now? Now it’s clear decision time. Where is your energy going to go come spring? When we ascend into Imbolc, when we climb the metaphorical ladder to return to the light, what are we returning to?

The world as it was?

Or are we choosing to change?

Maybe it’s too early yet

Maybe it’s a bit early yet to plan out the year all in one go.

But if you have the chance – make some decisions now. Write them down. Get organised to put them into place.

Then once we’ve ascended into Imbolc – it’s all go, no holds barred, let’s do this thing!!

Brigid and guilt

I know Brigid isn’t strongly associate with Christmas or Solstice for that matter. But guilt is. It’s a big one this time of year! Today we’re going to talk about how to manage guilt and use Brigid to help.

Now, I’ve written in passing about guilt before. But I’ve not done a deep dive into it at all. And particularly with women, particularly at this time of year, guilt tends to end up playing a major role in events.

OK, this isn't Brigid and guilt, but it does show a cartoon woman, with a collar and chain around her neck, and a large ball with "guilt" written on it that she's trying to pull around with her. Guilt has weight.
OK, it’s not always this obvious, but that’s part of the problem!

Guilt vs Shame

The two can often get confused. I like Psychology Today‘s differentiation:

Shame and guilt are two closely related concepts. While each has been defined in different ways, guilt is typically linked to some specific harm, real or perceived, and shame involves negative feelings about one’s self more generally.

Now, ok that article doesn’t link Brigid and guilt, but bear with me, ok?

Guilt has been posited to be useful in developing social conscience, communities, interpersonal relationships. Mainly in the “apologising when we do wrong” arena. But honestly, that’s not the guilt we’re talking about here.

The problem is that guilt can lead to shame. And both can lead to, or be an element in, mental illness.

So, y’know, I like to give some options.

Particular guilt around holidays

Listen, this is a time of year when “you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people, all of the time” comes into play. Brigid didn’t play with guilt when she had stuff she needed to get done! But also, Brigid wasn’t living in the modern world…

There are loads of conflicting priorities and it gets worse where there are kids involved.

  • Cost of presents
  • Trying to ensure the child doesn’t get the same pressie from 5 different people
  • The time everything takes
  • The inevitable feeling that one family or another feels left out
  • The growing list of things that make up Christmas (or Hannukah, or Solstice, or whatever your holiday is at this time of year)
  • The feeling of begrudgery at having to do all of this
  • The feeling of guilt over the begrudgery, followed by anger at the guilt, followed by guilt at the “lack of gratitude”…

Listen, we can spiral away here. What we need are some tried and true tactics.

Brigid, Guilt, What?

Brigid doesn’t play with guilt too much. Particularly in the hagiographies, we see her, time and again, taking steps to make things better rather than live with the guilt.

There’s no element of guilt in here when she makes an unborn baby “go away”. (Read: abortion). Certainly none mentioned at giving away her father’s sword, not to mention pulling out her brother’s eye…

She’s fierce practical, and practicality doesn’t always leave room for guilt. It does sometimes, no one’s perfect. But, y’know, it’s a barrier against guilt.

Y’see, it’s not that Brigid doesn’t feel guilt, I’m sure of that. The TDD weren’t necessarily human in the way we understand it, but they overlap a lot with humans. And that means guilt is on the menu.

But we can’t let guilt paralyse us.

What can we do?

Well, first and foremost, outline the areas where you might be feeling guilt. For most of us, it’s conflicting family needs and wants. There are many people who have a fixed idea of what Christmas must look like and any deviation from that is sacrilegious.

And when you’re the person who needs/wants to deviate from that set idea… well, it can lead to guilt tripping on a massive scale.

Now – there are people who will tell you they don’t feel guilt. I challenge those people to deal with a Catholic family background and say the same. It’s not that it’s a moral failing to not feel guilt. It’s more that it’s bred or bet into us…

So, what are the situations that guilt comes up?

  • Kids don’t get the toys they want
  • Parents or in-laws don’t feel like you’ve spent enough time with them
  • People feel the exchange of gifts was unequal

Honestly, the top two there are the main ones, and really… the second one is the killer.

Brigid was a mother too

Very true. And I’ve no doubt, as a mother, Brigid used guilt as a weapon in her toolbox to try and engage with her kid(s)

And, going by my experience in the last few days, it’s usually mothers pulling on the guilt strings. Worse – it’s usually their daughters they’re pulling on.

When the sayings such as “your son is your son til he gets a wife, your daughter is your daughter all your life” are still so common, maybe it’s no wonder.

But as Gen X women, and older Millennials, we are breaking these chains, ok?

And that means standing up and shaking off the guilt. Reach into yourself and imagine how you want your kids to feel about you in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond.

And think of what’s important to you in this holiday season.

Truly important

Do you hanker after a house full of people, chaotic, but full of love?

Is more a quiet day with no phones beeping?

A grand feast, with everyone squishing around the table?

My husband? His essential component is the Dr Who Christmas Special.

Mine? Two solid days away from work, emails, etc to read. And watch some films.

It hasn’t been easy getting here. But we had always said once we got married, we’d be spending Christmas on our own, building our own traditions.

But once people have built expectations, how do you re-set?

Bit by bit.

Looks, Brigid – nor guilt – never said things were easy or quick. And this probably won’t be either. But this year, pick one thing that is truly important to you. Is it a carol service? A walk with the family? A single hour alone, with no demands being placed on you?

Talk to those who will be affected by this. Set this plan in motion. Make sure it’s feasible. While I’d love to fly our whole family over to Lanzarote for a week in the sun – it’s not feasible. Not unless I win the lotto tomorrow night and even then…

But be clear on what you’re claiming for you this Christmas.

But the guilt, Orlagh!

Yeah, I know. Just remember, someone else trying to guilt you, doesn’t mean you have to take on their attempts.

And always have a few key phrases in your back pocket.

  1. “I hear that this matters to you. Here’s what I can realistically do.”
    This acknowledges their feelings while clearly stating your limits.
  2. “I appreciate how much you care about family traditions. I need to do what works for my family this year.”
    Shows respect for their values but asserts your autonomy.
  3. “I understand this is disappointing. My decision is not about you, it’s about what’s best for me right now.”
    Separates their emotions from your choices, reducing guilt.
  4. “I love you and want to enjoy our time together. That means I need to set this boundary so I don’t feel overwhelmed.”
    Frames the boundary as a way to preserve the relationship.
  5. “I can’t do everything you’re asking, but here’s what I can offer.”
    Keeps the tone collaborative while maintaining control.

Now, this isn’t easy. Especially not if you’re not used to setting boundaries and dealing with guilt. But it’s worth it.

The above phrases are the basis, but you’ll probably need to adjust to suit your situations. For example:

  1. Listen, I know you love the whole family being there on Christmas Day. The thing is, it’s a 3 hour round trip and we’ll be exhausted. How about we spend the night on the 28th instead?
  2. I completely understand that ye’ve always gone to Midnight Mass together. But we need to start traditions for our family now. And for us, it’s more important for the kids to get to bed before 9pm than to go to Midnight Mass.
  3. I completely understand you’re disappointed about not seeing us on Christmas Day. This isn’t about not wanting to see you, it’s about letting the kids relax in their own home.
  4. I love you, I want to spend time with you. But honestly, I finish work on Christmas Eve and I’m back in on the 27th. I just need to crash those few days so I don’t get completely overwhelmed.
  5. I don’t get enough time off work to stay with ye for 2 weeks. I could come up for New Year’s Eve and stay 2 days?

While Brigid might not have had to deal with this sort of guilt, she doesn’t understand clear boundaries. Operating in the liminal can be powerful, but when it comes to families – clear, concrete, deliberate boundaries tend to work best.

Don’t spend the holidays eaten up with guilt

Take a leaf out of Brigid’s book and try to wash away the guilt. It doesn’t do any good and basically, ties you and probably half the family in knots.

Set clear boundaries.

Stick to said boundaries.

Plan in time for your important thing.

And do better next year!

If you want to change, you have to change!

The topic of change came up during our Brigid’s Forge Collective session last night. And I thought it warranted writing about today. Because so often, we want things to be different, we look for it, beg for it – but forget the basics.

I’ve written before about Brigid and liminality, not to mention transformation.

But change, real, physical change is difficult at the best of times. And last night I came out with the sentence: “If you want to change, you have to change!”

Hugely profound, I know. But it’s an extension of the “Be the change you want to see in the world”

An image of a nebula cloud, blue and orange - the original change?
Change can feel amorphous, but it’s usually not!

Why talk about change?

A quick Google Scholar search brought 6.4 million results on “change management process“. There’s a reason for that!

Now, I’ll let you into a secret. The key to a successful change management process is twofold:

  • Successful stakeholder management
  • Clear preferred outcomes

That’s it. Seriously.

You can see how this works in large organisations, right? There’s a decision made somewhere that X is moving to Y. Now this could be as wide ranging as changing the graphics or the company logo down to altering the core working hours by 30mins for a particular office.

It doesn’t matter which it is, to be honest. The point is – it is change.

And people – as a rule – don’t like it.

So, successful stakeholder management. This doesn’t mean getting everyone involved to agree to the new way of doing things. It means making sure everyone is aware of upcoming new way of doing things. Getting alignment rather than agreement.

Alignment is one of those weird corporate words. It generally means someone has agreed to go along with whatever is happening and publicly support it, even if they think it’s batshit cracked to be even thinking of this right now.

Yeah, I know.

But the whole process depends on key stakeholders holding the party line, at least long enough to pass through the gauntlet of the process. We’re aiming for minimising resistance, not eliminating it. A bit of resistance is good for a change process – it can highlight key elements that need to be considered that might otherwise have been overlooked.

The second bit – being clear on the desired outcomes – is vital to ensuring success. For a start, if you’re not sure what the desired outcome is, how do you know you’ve been successful? And trust me when I say, the simpler the better.

“Higher employee enthusiasm” is all very well and good, but how are you measuring it, what does “higher” mean, higher than what, which employee, what do we mean by enthusiasm… you can see where this is going?

“Moving from a 3.5 to a 4.0 on the employee satisfaction survey by end of Q3 2026” is much better. It’s clear what’s being measure, how it’s being measure and what the time frame is. Of course there are going to be more detailed elements below this. There will be projects, and initiatives and all sorts. But the key element, the root and heart of the change itself, is simple but clear.

What do large organisations have to do with me though?

Well, here’s the thing. Change management is based on people. And chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you’re a person as well.

Internal change needs to be the same as external change.

  • Be clear on the change you want to see
  • Manage your stakeholders

Now, if you’re looking at yourself, what does this mean?

Well, first off, what do you want to change? Or rather what’s the outcome you hope this change will drive?

“I want to get fitter” is an outcome. But it’s not very clear. Some outcomes from this might be:

  • complete a press up
  • run 5k
  • walk to the gate and back
  • complete a circuits class, doing all the exercises, without dying
  • Complete the Camino de Santiago

You can see how all these would come under the heading of “being fitter” for some people, right?

And I’m using fitness rather than anything else cos it tends to be more commonplace. And less personal. People don’t get as upset by talking about doing a 5k as they do about the mention of a daily prayer, for example.

Alright, I can hear you screaming about stakeholders, now as well.

Here we go.

Stakeholders

I know. You don’t really see the need for stakeholder management when making a more personal change. Allow me to challenge you on that.

How about you? Do you not count as a stakeholder? You need to manage yourself, your own expectations, as much as you manage other people.

Are you going to commit to the work required to make this change? Maybe it’s a daily step goal. Or a 3 day a week running routine. Possibly become a regular attendance at class?

And then think about timelines. Support.

It’s been a long time since I did a couch to 5k program, but I definitely remember the need to manage my food differently when I did so. I had to be more prepared and that meant saying no to other things.

Committing to attending one meeting in work meant missing out on something else. Agreeing to found and run an organisation meant saying no to engaging with a different organisation.

All of this is managing stakeholders.

And that’s before we get into other people.

Explaining to your family that you’re not available at 6pm on Thursdays any more so they may have to eat dinner without you. Rearranging childcare to allow time for your new challenge. Explaining to work colleagues that actually, no, you aren’t available to work late on Monday nights any more and you have a hard cutoff at X time.

This is all stakeholder management.

Planning your change

Any change requires planning. It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as a reminder on your phone or major changes to family routines. All change required planning.

A picture of the Wellness From Within Journal from Little Penny Thoughts which is my new foray into journalling, Book is sage green with an elastic strap and a pen holder!!
Wellness From Within Journal from Little Penny Thoughts which is my new foray into journaling. A new change for me.

I got the above journal for free at a recent conference I was at and I sat down one Saturday night and talked it through with my husband, how I would use it, when I would use it, where I would use it…

Current goals are a Mon-Fri journaling habit, first thing in the morning. Well, not quite first thing, but close enough. It’s hit and miss at the minute, but we’re getting there.

But I used getting this journal as the catalyst for change. I decided when, where, how I was journaling. What is taken care of by the lovely journal, and why is because it’s good for my mental health!

And I don’t have “journaling” written into my diary or anything, but it is part of my morning routine, which is in my diary.

Planning works.

Bringing it back to spiritual change

I’ve deliberately not mentioned spiritual change the whole way through this post. Well, except for that one bit about prayer daily. But now let’s come full circle and return to Brigid.

So many people tell me “I want to deepen my relationship with Brigid”. The problem is that no two people have meant the same thing when they say that. So we probe. And I have a series of questions to help here:

1. Who is Brigid to You?

  • When you say “Brigid,” what does that mean to you? A goddess, a saint, a symbol, a presence?
  • How do you currently experience Brigid in your life?
  • Is your image of Brigid shaped by childhood teachings, personal experiences, or something else?

2. What Does “Relationship” Mean?

  • What does a healthy relationship with Brigid look like for you?
  • If you imagine this relationship as a friendship, partnership, or something else, what qualities would it have?
  • What do you feel Brigid offers you, and what do you offer Brigid?

3. What Does “Deepen” Mean?

  • When you say “deepen,” what would that look like in your daily life?
  • Does deepening mean more trust, more intimacy, more devotion, more freedom, more creativity?
  • What would be different in your life if your relationship with Brigid were deeper?

4. Current Practices

  • How do you currently connect with Brigid—prayer, ritual, nature, creativity, study?
  • Which of these feel nourishing, and which feel like obligations?

5. Desired Feelings and Outcomes

  • What feelings do you want to experience more often—peace, joy, inspiration, closeness?
  • What do you hope will change in your life as a result of deepening this relationship?

6. Barriers and Challenges

  • What gets in the way of feeling close to Brigid? Doubt, guilt, busyness, old beliefs?
  • If those barriers were gone, what would your relationship look like?

Try it out!

Now, ok, deepening your relationship with Brigid might not be what’s on your mind right now. But I bet those questions will help you get clear on some other things as well. Give it a try!!

Preparing for Imbolc: A Gentle Invitation to Begin Now

As the days shorten and the year winds down, many of us feel the pull to turn inward – to rest, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most. Preparing for Imbolc doesn’t appear in our minds right now. But wait…

In the Irish seasonal calendar, this time of year is a quiet descent toward Imbolc, the festival that marks the first stirrings of spring. It’s a time of deep listening, of preparing the ground, both within and without, for what’s to come.

But if you’ve ever felt unsure about how to actually prepare for Imbolc, you’re not alone.

Maybe you’ve read about people leaving cloths out for Brigid, lighting candles, or holding rituals – but you’re not quite sure what it all means, or how to make it your own.

That’s exactly why I created this course.

An image showing the poster for Awakening the Flame, a three month journey to prepare for Imbolc. It shows a picture of Brigid with red ahri flowing around her, info around the course - that's outline in the text as well,: 5 online modules Extra meditations and documents Gradually providing ideas Building towards Imbolc
Poster for the Awakening the Flame course

Preparing for Imbolc: A Three-Month Journey of Spiritual Grounding

Starting in November, I’ll be guiding a small group through the same practices and reflections I use to prepare for Imbolc each year. This isn’t about doing more – it’s about doing what’s meaningful.

Together, we’ll explore a three-fold framework that supports your:

🌿 Physical preparation – tending to your space, your body, your home
💧 Emotional preparation – making space for reflection, release, and renewal
🔥 Spiritual preparation – connecting with Brigid as Smith, Poet, and Healer

You’ll learn how these archetypes can guide your own ritual design – whether you’re new to this path or have been walking it for years.

This Course Is for You If…

  • You feel drawn to Brigid and the Irish seasonal cycle, but want more structure and support
  • You’re craving a spiritual practice that’s both rooted in tradition and adaptable to modern life
  • You want to prepare for Imbolc in a way that honours your energy, your time, and your truth
  • You’re ready to create a ritual or observance that feels yours – not just a copy of someone else’s

Why Start Now?

Because true preparation takes time.


Your spiritual life deserves spaciousness.

The descent into winter is sacred too.

This course gives you three months to gently explore, reflect, and prepare. So that when Imbolc arrives, you’re not scrambling to “get it right.” You’re arriving with presence, clarity, and connection.

Join Me

✨ If you’re ready to deepen your relationship with Brigid, with the Irish seasonal cycle, and with your own inner wisdom — I’d love to walk this path with you.

✨Or you can pay all in one go here.

Let’s prepare for Imbolc — not in a rush, but in rhythm.

The one bad apple

A picture of several green apples, with one in the middle obviously rotten and infecting the ones around it. This applies to our spirituality as well!
One bad apple spoils the whole barrel

Very often, we talk about bad apples in organisations. But it’s often in the context of being a “one off” or an unusual event. It seems that people have forgotten about the full phrase and why it is key to root out the bad apples. (Why yes, this is following on from my thoughts last week on people…)

Apparently the phrase goes back to the 16th century, according to Merriam-Webster. (Great article there on the phrase, by the way!) And the full phrase?

One bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

People appear to forget this in the modern usage. The whole point of the phrase is that, given enough time, one piece of rotten fruit will spoil an entire barrel. And given enough time – one rotten person will spoil an entire organisation.

We’ve all seen it. A nice group, focused on a singular goal, working well together. Someone comes in. Starts causing trouble. Not in a positive way, but starts engaging in backbiting, divide-and-conquer tactics to get their own way.

And soon, that’s the way the whole group acts. The original unity of purpose is gone.

I’ve seen it in professional organisations, friend groups, spiritual groups… you name it.

Seriously, though? One Bad Apple?

Yeah, seriously. Y’see, what a person is doing there is moving the Overton Window. They’re moving the band of acceptable behaviour in a group of people.

We’ve seen an example of it in US politics over the last 9 months. Things that were previously thought of as completely anathema, have become normal. OK, I’m not sure that’s down to one, singular bad apple, but the Overton window has certainly moved…

And it works on us, personally as well. Who we spend time with influences our thoughts, our thought patterns, what we consider acceptable and not acceptable in life.

I get it. This feels wrong to be saying, that you shouldn’t hang out with people who you don’t fully agree with on everything. And I don’t think there’s a single person in the world I agree with 100% on everything. But there are lines I draw that make someone ok to spend time with or not.

For example, if I see someone acting in a way I don’t like in a professional setting – being sexist, racist, etc – then that’s not a person I want to spend time with in a social setting. And vice versa. I don’t buy into the idea that business is just that, business. I believe that people show us who they truly where when the repercussions of their behaviour are are minimal.

if someone is a bad apple in a social setting, they are likely to be a bad apple in a professional or spiritual one as well.

What has this got to do with spirituality?

Well, we often speak of community in spiritual circles. And if we’re honest, for many of us, this means virtual community. So it’s not a case of being able to pop round the neighbours for a chat about Samhain rituals. It’s more a case of posting online and seeing who responds.

But sometimes you get so desperate for some face-to-face time with fellow believers that you accept behaviours that are major red flags.

Don’t get me wrong- I’d love to just step outside my door and have a community on my doorstep. But I want it with minimal input from me and to have it ready to go – and life doesn’t work that way. Right now, if I were to take part in that sort of community, I would have to bend some fairly seriously principles of mine…

The bad apple doesn’t always appear as the cartoon villain, y’see.

Cartoon villain?

Yeah – you know, ugly, black cloak, likes to hide in corners?

The bad apple is very often a stalwart member of the community. They’ve created that space for themselves. It can very often be you. Or me.

It can be someone working with the best of intentions, but just not doing the right things. And yes, I agree with this.

What about ourselves as bad apples?

OK, so here’s where we need to consider the bad apple analogy in ourselves.

Because so much of what we do as humans is habit, so entering into good or bad habits can have lasting consequences beyond what we currently see. For example, the first time we skip the gym after a few months of solid work – doesn’t seem to bad. There’s a valid excuse or reason. There’s an injury or car trouble or a big meeting at work.

But then skipping the next time is that bit easier. You’ve already broken your streak after all. it’s not as big a deal.

Pretty so0n, you find yourself back to legging it out of the house in the morning, with nary a thought of the gym in your head.

It works like this for spirituality and morals as well. The first time you break a personal rule, it’s tough. You have to think hard about it. But the second time? So much easier.

So if you meditate every day, skipping one day, doesn’t seem so bad. And to be honest, it probably isn’t.

But the second day? The third day? The tenth day? Those are the days to look out for. Because pretty soon, that time you’d dedicated to spending on your spirituality has disappeared into the ether of work, life and non-spirituality work.

And somehow you find yourself not spending the time you want to spend on your spirituality at all, but you’re doing nothing more with your life either? How do you get back on track?

Well, yeah, I have a few courses that can help with that, but sometimes money isn’t the answer.

Sometimes you have to identify the bad apple

I was at a conference on Friday to do with work – cos why else – and the talk was around self care, twisty careers, mindfulness, little thoughts, all that sort of things. But it struck me – cos I see it all the time with myself – that sometimes we need to identify the bad apples within ourselves.

Now with spirituality, the bad apples show up a bit differently. But it starts with self reflection. It starts with assessing who you are, what you’re doing and what you plan to do. What’s something you want to do, what something you want to stop doing?

What are the habits or practices you’re continuing out of habit, but you know they’re problematic?

Where can you see yourself straying from the path you intend to walk in a negative way?

Some examples would help here, Orlagh

OK fair. Here are some things I had to assess over the last few years:

  • I stopped going to Mass. It was the response of the Church to virtual mass and the concern re collections going down that tipped me over the edge here. I’m still ok to turn up to weddings, funerals, etc – although I know many people aren’t – but my line is weekly Mass.
  • I keep track of the authors I’m reading to make sure I’m reading a diverse range, and not just white men and women. This weekend, because of exhaustion, I got through N. K. Jemison’s Dreamblood duology. Really entertaining and promotes a seriously different way of thinking about the world.
  • I’ve stopped reading and mentioning certain authors who don’t align with my views and who use their platform to support some seriously horrendous thoughts. No, not mentioning them here… but y’know, I bet ye could guess one or two.
  • I’ve stopped shopping in certain places. Because they don’t support my ideals of fair trade and fair wages. Now, this is one area where I can improve further. Shein still features because of their excellent size ranges and they really have outfits I can’t get in my size elsewhere. But I tend to focus the majority of my money on places like Tempted

I know you’re probably thinking, “what in hell has this got to do with spirituality?” Well, Spirituality isn’t just for specific periods of the week. It’s about how we live our lives. And when we live our lives in line with our ideals, our morals and our practices, it makes life flow better.

My shopping habit at Shien is a bad apple, and one I have to keep an eye on. I have set spending limits to manage this and if I see something I love, I search elsewhere to see if I can find it in my size from a better retailer. Unfortunately, the answer to the first part is nearly always no.

(Those who are about to suggest making my own clothes – I love to do this. But it takes time and plus size patterns, neither of which are in good supply)

Bad apples inside ourselves don’t have to be cut out. They should be addressed, evaluated, checked… and when they start spoiling the whole barrel, eradicated. I don’t think my €20 a month habit on Shein is the worst thing in the world. It’s not the best, but not the worst. The clothes I get are either worn to bits or passed on to people I know will wear them. Most of the time.

We’re not perfect. And while the bad apple terminology can seem like we should be perfect, it’s not the case.

But be wary of those little slips. And make sure, when the bad habits creep in, you’re conscious of it.

Brigid, light and people

An image from my instagram account, saying on top
Check out more info here!

I’ve written about light and Brigid before on this blog. On several occasions in fact. And you’re probably wondering what in hell that has to do with my Instagram post this morning.

Bringing a bit of joy and laughter to people’s lives is part of how I lighten up the dark part of the year, shining with the metaphorical Brigid light. (Also why I used so many candles

Does Brigid approve of laughter?

Laughter brings lightness into our lives. We’ve been discussing this in the Collective this week, the experience of joy in spirituality. It’s amazing how many people don’t experience joy in spirituality at all. Or if they do, it’s a very specific kind of joy – like singing in a group.

But we have loads of early Church examples of how spirituality has to come with joy. This includes warmth, akin to the essence of Brigid light, which fills the spirit with happiness.

But first – whenever I talk about joy, I quote Terry Pratchett:

“That’s my daughter,” said the king. “I ought to feel
sad. Why don’t I?”

EMOTIONS GET LEFT BEHIND. IT’S ALL A MATTER OF
GLANDS.

“Ah. That would be it, I suppose.”

― Terry Pratchett, Mort

The words in all caps are from Death, it’s a convention Pratchett uses through the books. And if you’re looking for books to raise the spirits through the winter months, you won’t go too far wrong with the Discworld ones!

But back to the primary question, does Brigid approve of laughter.

Key UPG moment here: this is my opinion, rather than based in lore, but in my experience and in my opinion, yes, Brigid is very approving of laughter. She has the Irish approach to the topic – there’s as much laughing as crying at what might be considered a “normal” funeral in Ireland.

And while she gave us keening, she never stopped us laughing.

Brigid is associated with light in many stories. And some of her stories are genuinely funny – well if you have a twisted sense of humour like I do.

Brigid, light and spiritual joy

Here’s four other Catholic saints calling out for joy in spirituality:

  • “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” – Saint Teresa of Avila
  • “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” – Saint Paul the Apostle (Philippians 4:4)
  • “The soul of one who serves God always swims in joy, always keeps holiday, and is always in the mood for singing.” – Saint John Vianney
  • St. Augustine of Hippo wrote, “Joy is the net of love by which you can catch souls.”

I particularly enjoy Saint John Vianney there. Always being in the mood for singing tells me he definitely felt joy in his life!

We have in recent centuries become accustomed to religion in particular being dark and dour, rather than light and happy. (All to do with oppression and control to be honest)

Restricting our laughter, our joy, our light, really limits how we can move forward in spirituality. I mean, why would you want to move forward onto a path that is just causing you pain and torment with nothing to lighten things?

Brigid appreciates we’re human and we need the light as much as the darkness. She also understands that there will forever people that will seek to put down and oppress others. We see this all over the world.

But this is where laughter can fight back against that oppression as well.

I read a lot of dystopian fiction

Surprising no one, I’d say. And a lot of the time, I can see a stage in resistance or building to resistance, where things appear so dark, so lonely, so miserable… it’s a wonder anyone can ever consider rebelling.

But then the gleams of lightness and laughter appear. There’s a secret or not-so-secret underground pub or bar. There are songs. There is dancing.

There’s always something.

And so we can use this in our daily lives.

Subvert the expectations. Just because people can impose darkness and oppression, doesn’t mean you can to comply 100% of the time. Brigid brings some light herself, of course. But you can also use her to bring light and bring some on your own as well.

Light the candles. Invite her to join you in watching a favourite film. Or share in a glass of wine, listen to some music, dance…

And the t-shirt, Orlagh? What does that have to do with Brigid and light?

Well that’s simple. People are an entirely different entity than persons. Once you become a person to me – as I said in the Instagram post – things get a lot easier. But people? People? I don’t like people.

Just in general.

The herd mentality is strong in a lot of people, so until people become persons, I distrust them immensely…

I said this in a class, years ago and nearly gave poor Lora a heart attack. Most of the time once I see you face-to-face or talk to you in a class, you move from people to person.

You might say, once I see you in Brigid’s Light, I start looking at you differently!

Preparing for Imbolc

I know, it’s not even Samhain yet, and I’m already speaking about preparing for Imbolc.

But there’s a reason for it. Namely, I start preparing for Imbolc around the time of Samhain. In the same way I start preparing for Samhain around the time of Lúnasa. But for Imbolc, I take some of ye along with me on the journey.

Lighting candles is an essential part of my preparation for Imbolc, especially electric ones! Picture of an electric candle, shining in the dark
Let’s be serious, ye already knew lighting candles was ging to be a part of this!

And it’s no joke to say that I start writing about this nearly every year at this time…

What takes so long, FFS?

Well yeah, ok here’s the thing. I prepare for Imbolc over three months, because I considering the time between Samhain and Imbolc to be my dreaming period. My planning period. I’ve taken stock of where I am and what I’ve achieved between Lúnasa and Samhain. So, Samhain to Imbolc is the heavy work.

I prepare for Imbolc in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms.

And I allocate about a month for each in my preparation cycle. Imbolc isn’t just an event to me, it’s a season. And as such, I use it as part of my seasonal work. I mean, I go through a cycle of physical, emotional and spiritual work in all seasons, but for Imbolc it’s extra special preparation.

And yeah, that’s cos of the links with Brigid. Definitely.

But it’s also because I consider the work done between Samhain and Imbolc as the most important in the year. It’s how I set up my year, plan my year, engage with my audience to find out what’s needed and what isn’t for the coming year.

It’s my time for reflection, review, engagement… all of that good stuff.

And it takes time.

Preparing for Imbolc is a whole-person approach for me. And it’s different every year. There are some basics that stay the same, and I’ll talk about them down below, but the specifics change, over and over again.

Physically preparing for Imbolc

OK, a lot of this is cleaning. Seriously.

Thankfully Christmas happens between Samhain and Imbolc, otherwise, I’d never get things as clean as I want for the season. But there is a feeling or a need to clear our the house come spring. Which as we know, starts to show it’s face around Imbolc. It’s not the height of spring – I’d label that as the equinox. But still…

And particularly with Imbolc, after the winter season of closing doors and windows, there’s a great need to let the fresh air. To clear out the corners. Get the energy moving again.

(This is northern hemisphere based and four-seasons based of course. If you’re in a different season rotation – you may need to adjust!)

But preparing for Imbolc by getting things going again really feels apt for the season in Ireland and the stage of the year. And a good scrubbing of the house really helps get the energy moving again. As does a clean breeze coming through.

Now, of course, you may get complaints from certain inhabitants about the cold, etc. But I dare anyone not to enjoy the feeling of a truly clean, fresh house.

And it gives us a clean slate to start the rest of the year with. Which feeds into…

Emotionally preparing for Imbolc

Now, I’m the last to tell anyone how they might feel or how their emotions might affect them. But I know for me and mine, the dark winter months are touch, emotionally speaking. I tend to leave the house in the dark and get back to work in the dark.

In fact this started last week – admittedly, I was in work for 7am, but still. There is a definitely shortening of both morning and evening light. And this has an effect on our mood. Even the HSE, our health and safety people, recommend everyone in the country should take a vitamin D supplement.

Image reads: How much vitamin D you need Everyone in Ireland needs to take a vitamin D supplement. The amount you need depends on your age, skin tone, your situation and the time of year. If you have dark skin – for example you have an African, African-Caribbean or south Asian background – you may also not make enough vitamin D from sunlight. The amount of vitamin D you need is often described in micrograms.
Image taken from the HSE website

I mean, half the country is on anti-depressants, even with the gorgeous scenery. And that standing joke about God not letting it rain for 40 days and 40 nights anymore, but 40 days and 39 and a half nights is definitely within scope is accurate here.

How much does it rain?

As is our assessment of other climate’s rainy season. I remember being in Gambia years ago and being warned I was going during the rainy season. They got a mere 2 hours of rain every day and you could set your clock by it…

That was a gorgeous summer as far as I was concerned!

(Before anyone starts- I know monsoons and other dramatic rain are far worse than what we get. But for days of rain per year, we’re kinda up there. There’s a reason all the fields are green, ok?)

So, all in all, looking after our emotional health is important this time of year. It’s also why I consider the lighting of candles and fires to be an essential component of preparing for Imbolc. Not just about the connections of Brigid and fire. It’s about that deep seated emotional need we have for light at this dark time of the year.

Spiritually preparing for Imbolc

I mean, ye know this was coming, right? It’s not like I hide it.

And while the physical and emotional preparation are vitally important, the spiritual preparation for Imbolc is at the core of what the celebration means to me.

And the spiritual preparation can be deeply personal. For anyone! Of course there will be the public stuff. I am mostly likely to run a virtual retreat this year, again. There’s a good chance I’ll be sharing the public or public-friendly bits of my celebration on Instagram or in the Facebook group.

But there are always personal parts. I might share the fact that a spiritual shower or sacred cleanse is an important part of my celebration, but I don’t usually share the explicit details of it. I might share a pic of my brat Bhríde hanging from the door. It’s not so likely I’ll share the details of the prayers and blessings I add into my own private ritual.

There is always that dividing line for me between the publicly available stuff and the personal stuff. Whether that stuff is personal gnosis or just none of anyone else’s business doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that when I’m teaching, I give you the tools to develop your own practices. Because that’s where the value is. Not in copying what I do by rote.

Heads up

So this is a heads up. A heads up for both you and me.

We’ll be starting the course on 1st November. It ends up usually being about 5 classes over three months… I’m great at planning these things to be even and regular… not. So, there’s usually a gap over Christmas, but don’t worry. Sessions are recorded and usually available within a day or two.

But you don’t have to join the class if you don’t want to. (Although payment plan is available!)

If you are interested, check out the links and if you have any questions, email!

But don’t forget. This dark, quiet time of year is not for the faint of heart. And spring comes again quickly!