Tag: get to know yourself

The one bad apple

A picture of several green apples, with one in the middle obviously rotten and infecting the ones around it. This applies to our spirituality as well!
One bad apple spoils the whole barrel

Very often, we talk about bad apples in organisations. But it’s often in the context of being a “one off” or an unusual event. It seems that people have forgotten about the full phrase and why it is key to root out the bad apples. (Why yes, this is following on from my thoughts last week on people…)

Apparently the phrase goes back to the 16th century, according to Merriam-Webster. (Great article there on the phrase, by the way!) And the full phrase?

One bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

People appear to forget this in the modern usage. The whole point of the phrase is that, given enough time, one piece of rotten fruit will spoil an entire barrel. And given enough time – one rotten person will spoil an entire organisation.

We’ve all seen it. A nice group, focused on a singular goal, working well together. Someone comes in. Starts causing trouble. Not in a positive way, but starts engaging in backbiting, divide-and-conquer tactics to get their own way.

And soon, that’s the way the whole group acts. The original unity of purpose is gone.

I’ve seen it in professional organisations, friend groups, spiritual groups… you name it.

Seriously, though? One Bad Apple?

Yeah, seriously. Y’see, what a person is doing there is moving the Overton Window. They’re moving the band of acceptable behaviour in a group of people.

We’ve seen an example of it in US politics over the last 9 months. Things that were previously thought of as completely anathema, have become normal. OK, I’m not sure that’s down to one, singular bad apple, but the Overton window has certainly moved…

And it works on us, personally as well. Who we spend time with influences our thoughts, our thought patterns, what we consider acceptable and not acceptable in life.

I get it. This feels wrong to be saying, that you shouldn’t hang out with people who you don’t fully agree with on everything. And I don’t think there’s a single person in the world I agree with 100% on everything. But there are lines I draw that make someone ok to spend time with or not.

For example, if I see someone acting in a way I don’t like in a professional setting – being sexist, racist, etc – then that’s not a person I want to spend time with in a social setting. And vice versa. I don’t buy into the idea that business is just that, business. I believe that people show us who they truly where when the repercussions of their behaviour are are minimal.

if someone is a bad apple in a social setting, they are likely to be a bad apple in a professional or spiritual one as well.

What has this got to do with spirituality?

Well, we often speak of community in spiritual circles. And if we’re honest, for many of us, this means virtual community. So it’s not a case of being able to pop round the neighbours for a chat about Samhain rituals. It’s more a case of posting online and seeing who responds.

But sometimes you get so desperate for some face-to-face time with fellow believers that you accept behaviours that are major red flags.

Don’t get me wrong- I’d love to just step outside my door and have a community on my doorstep. But I want it with minimal input from me and to have it ready to go – and life doesn’t work that way. Right now, if I were to take part in that sort of community, I would have to bend some fairly seriously principles of mine…

The bad apple doesn’t always appear as the cartoon villain, y’see.

Cartoon villain?

Yeah – you know, ugly, black cloak, likes to hide in corners?

The bad apple is very often a stalwart member of the community. They’ve created that space for themselves. It can very often be you. Or me.

It can be someone working with the best of intentions, but just not doing the right things. And yes, I agree with this.

What about ourselves as bad apples?

OK, so here’s where we need to consider the bad apple analogy in ourselves.

Because so much of what we do as humans is habit, so entering into good or bad habits can have lasting consequences beyond what we currently see. For example, the first time we skip the gym after a few months of solid work – doesn’t seem to bad. There’s a valid excuse or reason. There’s an injury or car trouble or a big meeting at work.

But then skipping the next time is that bit easier. You’ve already broken your streak after all. it’s not as big a deal.

Pretty so0n, you find yourself back to legging it out of the house in the morning, with nary a thought of the gym in your head.

It works like this for spirituality and morals as well. The first time you break a personal rule, it’s tough. You have to think hard about it. But the second time? So much easier.

So if you meditate every day, skipping one day, doesn’t seem so bad. And to be honest, it probably isn’t.

But the second day? The third day? The tenth day? Those are the days to look out for. Because pretty soon, that time you’d dedicated to spending on your spirituality has disappeared into the ether of work, life and non-spirituality work.

And somehow you find yourself not spending the time you want to spend on your spirituality at all, but you’re doing nothing more with your life either? How do you get back on track?

Well, yeah, I have a few courses that can help with that, but sometimes money isn’t the answer.

Sometimes you have to identify the bad apple

I was at a conference on Friday to do with work – cos why else – and the talk was around self care, twisty careers, mindfulness, little thoughts, all that sort of things. But it struck me – cos I see it all the time with myself – that sometimes we need to identify the bad apples within ourselves.

Now with spirituality, the bad apples show up a bit differently. But it starts with self reflection. It starts with assessing who you are, what you’re doing and what you plan to do. What’s something you want to do, what something you want to stop doing?

What are the habits or practices you’re continuing out of habit, but you know they’re problematic?

Where can you see yourself straying from the path you intend to walk in a negative way?

Some examples would help here, Orlagh

OK fair. Here are some things I had to assess over the last few years:

  • I stopped going to Mass. It was the response of the Church to virtual mass and the concern re collections going down that tipped me over the edge here. I’m still ok to turn up to weddings, funerals, etc – although I know many people aren’t – but my line is weekly Mass.
  • I keep track of the authors I’m reading to make sure I’m reading a diverse range, and not just white men and women. This weekend, because of exhaustion, I got through N. K. Jemison’s Dreamblood duology. Really entertaining and promotes a seriously different way of thinking about the world.
  • I’ve stopped reading and mentioning certain authors who don’t align with my views and who use their platform to support some seriously horrendous thoughts. No, not mentioning them here… but y’know, I bet ye could guess one or two.
  • I’ve stopped shopping in certain places. Because they don’t support my ideals of fair trade and fair wages. Now, this is one area where I can improve further. Shein still features because of their excellent size ranges and they really have outfits I can’t get in my size elsewhere. But I tend to focus the majority of my money on places like Tempted

I know you’re probably thinking, “what in hell has this got to do with spirituality?” Well, Spirituality isn’t just for specific periods of the week. It’s about how we live our lives. And when we live our lives in line with our ideals, our morals and our practices, it makes life flow better.

My shopping habit at Shien is a bad apple, and one I have to keep an eye on. I have set spending limits to manage this and if I see something I love, I search elsewhere to see if I can find it in my size from a better retailer. Unfortunately, the answer to the first part is nearly always no.

(Those who are about to suggest making my own clothes – I love to do this. But it takes time and plus size patterns, neither of which are in good supply)

Bad apples inside ourselves don’t have to be cut out. They should be addressed, evaluated, checked… and when they start spoiling the whole barrel, eradicated. I don’t think my €20 a month habit on Shein is the worst thing in the world. It’s not the best, but not the worst. The clothes I get are either worn to bits or passed on to people I know will wear them. Most of the time.

We’re not perfect. And while the bad apple terminology can seem like we should be perfect, it’s not the case.

But be wary of those little slips. And make sure, when the bad habits creep in, you’re conscious of it.

Brigid and balance

It’s equinox season, so that means it’s a great time to consider Brigid and balance. Which is a nice lead on from my first post last week. Plus, I have been posting about it over on Instagram. (Why, yes, I do have an Instagram and yes, I do occasionally remember to post there!)

And I know that Brigid isn’t necessarily the first person you think of when you think of “balance”, but I hope to persuade you differently today!

Brigid and balance for me right now

I used to get all caught up in the hype of September being a great time of year to turn over a new leaf, with it being the start of a new school year and all. The joys of not only spending 18years in full time education in Ireland but also, have two teachers as parents. The school year is part of me.

But when I switched to a more cyclical style of living, and started moving through the year as a dreaming, planting, growing and harvesting cycle, things began to change for me. September is no longer a “new year” type vibe, but more of a “check in and take stock” kind of vibe. It tied in with my exploration of Brigid and balance.

And it doesn’t hurt that the evenings are definitely getting longer, the sunset is happening earlier and in general, the weather is getting colder.

So, it makes sense that in noting the equinox, my thoughts turn to balance.

My equinox Brigid and Balance activities started with a revamp of my altar, shown here in the picture. Its a smaller table, with my two candle lit Brigid statues, my tine statue of an Dagda, the Dagda has a new incence burner cauldron and I have another incense holder for Brigid as well. Check out all the details on Instagram as well!
My simplified altar for this season. Although, the Dagda now has a cauldron that’s bigger than he is!

What do I mean by balance?

Well I’ve been moaning over the last few weeks on Instagram – well last week in particular – that work was taking over too much of my time. I’d worked til midnight on one night, necessitating a stay over in a hotel near work cos I was in no fit state to drive home at that point. That had a knock on effect with sleep, eating, husband tending that really lasted til yesterday. So, I took some time. I may have been muttering about Brigid, balance and how my life included neither at that point…

I woke at 4:30am yesterday and couldn’t get back to sleep. Instead of diving into work or working on Brigid’s Forge, I took the time to meditate. In front of this altar. Wrapped in a blankie like one of my ancestors from generations ago. (Although to be fair, given at least 50% of my ancestors came from migrant labourer backgrounds, the blankie might have been a luxury for them!)

All in all, it felt like an “all work and no play” kinda deal. Plus, I started rewatching Buffy from Season 2, which is never really a positive sign in my life…

What am I looking to achieve?

Brigid is a firm believer – to me anyway – that we are made of body, mind and soul. And all three parts need nurturing. We could link these to the Smith, the Healer and the Poet, or Brig Bricciu, Brig Brethach and Brig Ambue. But for me, this balance means I’m taking care of my body, my mind and my soul. My mind usually gets exercised enough through work and study. Seriously, Brigid really doesn’t need to worry about balance there!

But my body and soul need tending as well.

And I may have been getting ever so not subtle hints from Brigid about balance.

Just slight ones.

So, that meditation session the other morning was like coming home. It felt so warm, inviting, relaxing and comforting. Exactly what I needed in fact. Who knew? Well, we know the answer to that… 🤔

I’m reclaiming my body and soul. That’s what I’m doing. I’m looking to work through the latest threats to my balanced life with Brigid, and get back to a place with my body and soul where I feel happy.

Even the gym has fallen by the wayside in recent months. I just didn’t have the energy or time to do it.

What does this look like for me?

Well, it means I’ve been taking estradiol (HRT for those who know) and it has helped my energy, sleep and mood immensely. Sunday night notwithstanding. So I’m back to rebuilding the structure that really works for me: the morning meditation and movement. The prepared meals rather than canteen meals. Making time for the gym. Making time for myself that doesn’t involve either fiddling on the phone or randomly flicking through crap on the telly.

And don’t forget, “balance” doesn’t equal “equal”. There is a difference. So, for the last few months, work had to take centre stage, there’s been a lot going on. But now, it’s time to rebalance and spend a bit of extra time on the things I mention above, rather than work and, well, rebalance.

What could this look like for you?

Well… much the same. Do an assessment of your life. Are you happy with the time your spending on mind, body and soul? Are you happy with finances, housing solutions, relationships? Mind, body and soul might not be the perfect mix for you, but there is something out there that will work to support you in achieving the balance you need.

And if you want to have some focused sessions with me on this, feel free to reach out and book a Brigid Session. But spend some time considering where you’re lacking balance and where you’re asking Brigid to help.

The usual cautions about asking for non-specific help apply though!!

The Brigid Sessions

After the dirty mire of my post earlier this week, I wanted to do a bit of a brain cleanser and work towards something positive. So I wanted to write a bit about the Brigid Sessions. I’m having a lot of fun with people joining these sessions, and because they are a short, focused means of coaching, it helps a lot more people.

So you’re selling something?

Well, yes. That is the base of this deal. For a price of $227 or €197, you get three sessions with me.

Session 1: Know Yourself (45–60 mins)
We begin with you. Your gifts, your resources, and the places in your life where Brigid’s energy is most needed. This is a deep, intuitive dive into your personal landscape.

Session 2: Co-Create Your Path (30 mins)
Together, we’ll shape your next steps. Whether it’s joining a local group, starting a creative or spiritual project, or something entirely unique—we’ll craft a plan that feels aligned and doable.

Session 3: Refine & Rise (30 mins, one week-ish later)
After you’ve had time to explore and reflect, we’ll meet again to adjust and refine. You’ll leave with clarity, confidence, and a sense of sacred momentum.

This is targeted coaching on a single issue. Although, I should warn you, no one who has signed up so far has ended up delving deep into the issue they thought they were signing up for.

So, no one is getting what they want?

Not exactly.

I’ve had someone sign up to talk about a portable altar, and end up talking about how to gain Brigid’s help in engaging with her mother.

Someone else came in looking for support on connecting with Brigid, we ended up clarifying her meditation practices and how to work through difficult times.

The last example I’ll give is someone going through a very messy, difficult break up. And looking for some Brigid support. We ended up working through water magic and going with the flow.

(OK, if I’m honest, there’s been more than one example that would fit into the above three samples. I’m trying to keep things vague enough so people don’t feel identified, while concrete enough to let you see what’s going on).

But as always with Brigid, things are rarely clear cut. And sometimes that first session, the deep dive into your current situation, resources, gifts and the bits of your life that Brigid could help with – that’s truly valuable. Hence why it’s so long, compared to the other two.

Because once you get clear on what and where you want that help, the asking for help is reasonably straightforward.

Who is this for?

Well for anyone. But as ye all know, I predominantly work with women, coming out of a rigid spiritual set-up, usually from a Catholic/ Christian background, with an interest in Irish spirituality.

As well as people looking for an extremely practical approach to things.

This is highly unlikely to end up giving you energetic work to do. It’s far more likely to have you out digging a garden than praying. Prayer is always a useful part of life. Don’t get me wrong. But in my experience, prayer supports practical action, not the other way around.

So, is there a thorny issue in your side that you want to deal with? Are you prepared for some close questioning to get to the root of your issue?

Is there something you feel you can ask Brigid for help with, but it feels vague and airy-fairy?

Click on the link and sign up.

Money problems

Given the mess that is in the US right now, I’m doing the same here as I do for the Hope and Healing Hub. For every full paying session, I’m gifting one as well.

So, if money is an issue, reach out and I’ll put you on the list.

Most of all?

Remember Brigid looks after the cowless. She worked to help women in her community. She stands for those women in male-dominated professions.

Her help is there – but she won’t cross the line without being asked.

And neither will I!

How did Brigid take up space?

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of feeling small and how it affects us. So, today I want to talk about the different ways in which Brigid takes up space.

And, possibly more importantly, how we can learn from it!

The death of a son

I’ve spoken about Ruadhán’s death before on the blog. And there’s a whole course on the excerpt over in the school. So, I have a lot to say about this aspect of Brigid. But today, I’m going to talk about her taking up space.

Primarily, in the enemy camp of the Fomorians.

Seriously – Brig followed Ruadhán to his father’s presence in the Fomorian assembly.

But after the spear had been given to him, Rúadán turned and wounded Goibniu. He pulled out the spear and hurled it at Rúadán so that it went through him; and he died in his father’s presence in the Fomorian assembly. Bríg came and keened for her son. At first she shrieked, in the end she wept. Then for the first time weeping and shrieking were heard in Ireland. (Now she is the Bríg who invented a whistle for signalling at night.)

– Cath Maige Tuired: The Second Battle of Mag Tuired

I mean, on the one hand, she was the wife of Bres (at one time anyway) and the mother of the dead child. So, we’re looking at someone who could be deemed to belong there.

But equally, she had fairly obvious strong ties to the Tuatha De Danann camp, potentially far stronger than a rotten marriage to a deposed king.

Was this a safe place for Brig?

Probably not. But she took up the space she needed. She keened. Mourned her son. And did what needed to be done.

Brigid taking up space – and food

OK, so the myriad of ways in which Brigid takes space and food throughout her hagiographies is vast.

A picture of Brigid's Garden Well in Kildare. A physical Brigid takes up space here! (Although the statue isn't in this picture!!)
Brigid, taking up space in Kildare!

She gives away butter – then makes sure the dairy provides what’s needed for the family anyway. She feeds an old hound from the meat meant for guests, and still manages to have enough for the guests. (Although in that case, the guests felt ashamed by her actions and decided to give their food to the poor in imitation of her actions)

 Every store of food which she saw and served used to grow. She bettered the sheep: she tended the blind: she fed the poor.

– On the Life of St. Brigit

Not to mention the time she gave away a valuable chain and her nuns came to her complaining they’d no money for food and clothes, when she came out with this zinger:

‘Ye are sinning,’ saith Brigit: ‘Go ye into the church : the place wherein I make prayer, there will ye find your chain.’ They went at Brigit’s word. But, though it had been given to the poor man, the virgins found their chain therein.

On the Life of St. Brigit

Blackmail always an option…

… in God’s name of course

Brigit went to Bishop Ibair that he may mark out her city for her. So they came thereafter to the place where Kildare is to-day. That was the season and the time that Ailill son of Dunlaing, with a hundred horse-loads of peeled rods, chanced to be going through the ground of Kildare. Two girls came from Brigit to ask for some of the rods, and they got a refusal. Forthwith all the horses were struck down under their loads against the ground. Stakes and wattles were taken from them, and they arose not until Ailill son of Dunlaing had offered unto Brigit those hundred horse-loads; and thereout was built Saint Brigit’s house in Kildare.

On the Life of St. Brigit

I mean, blackmail might not be quite the word here, but it’s certainly implied blackmail.

Sure what would the man be doing with that many rods anyway???

Standing up for justice

Now you might think that Brigid didn’t have much to do with justice, but she freed captives.

Brigit went into the province of Fir Ross to loosen a captive who was in manu with the King of Ross. Said Brigit: ‘Wilt thou set that captive free for me?’ The King replied: ‘Though thou shouldst give me the realm of the men of Breg, I would not give him to thee. But go not with a refusal,’ saith the King. ‘For one night thou shalt have the right to guard his life for him.’ Then Brigit appeared at the close of day to the captive and said to him: ‘When the chain shall be opened for thee repeat this hymn, Nunc populus, and turn to thy right hand and flee.’ Thus it is done, and the captive flees at the word of Brigit.

On the Life of St. Brigit

OK that’s one captive, but still…

rigit, and certain virgins with her, went to Bishop Mél, in Telcha Mide, to take the veil. Glad was he thereat. For humbleness Brigit staid, so that she might be the last to whom the veil should be given. A fiery pillar arose from her head to the ridgepole of the church. Bishop Mél asked: ‘What virgin is there?’ Answered MacCaille: ‘That is Brigit,’ saith he. ‘Come thou, O holy Brigit,’ saith Bishop Mél, ‘that the veil may be sained on thy head before other virgins.’

It came to pass then, through the grace of the Holy Ghost, that the form of ordaining a bishop was read over Brigit. MacCaille said that ‘The order of a bishop should not be (conferred) on a woman.’ Dixit Bishop Mél: ‘No power have I in this matter, inasmuch as by God hath been given unto her this honour beyond every woman.’ Hence, it is that the men of Ireland give the honour of bishop to Brigit’s successor.

Yup, she was ordained a bishop and hence the honour of a bishop and precedence was granted to Brigid’s successor – until 1169 when the then successor was raped by Dermot McMurrough’s troops and divested of her station. (And then threw in McMurrough’s niece as reverend mother who then in turn, gave up her precedence to take her “proper place” behind the men…)

Not to mention healing a leper and then re-infecting him because of his behaviour afterwards.

What can we learn from this?

Sometimes, we have to venture into discomfort to learn things. I’m not one that says every bad experience is a teaching moment – well ok, maybe I am, even if the teaching moment is that some people are assholes. But there are times when we, like Brigid, take up space in ways that just isn’t comfortable. Discomfort doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s not comfortable and not habitual.

Sometimes, taking up space makes us a target in ways we don’t like. That doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile or that we avoid doing it. Sometimes, you feel the fear and do it anyway. At other times, you look at the risks and decide something isn’t worth it.

But don’t take the smaller stance just by default. Because there isn’t a clear way to win then.

Brigid was born of a slave – according to the hagiographies. And her mother is completely unknown in the pre-Christian lore. Her husband was a bad king. Her child(ren) (depending on which lore you’re reading) was (were) killed. Justly or unjustly, depending on your point of view.

And yet she endures. She was ordained a bishop. She founded a monastic institution that resonates through the centuries to us. We hold her close as Poet, Smith and Healer.

Brigid took up, and still takes up, space. In Ireland and elsewhere.

If she can do it, so can you.

Taking Up Space: A Spiritual Rebellion Against Patriarchal Power

Let’s name it: the feeling of being small in a patriarchy.

Women feeling small isn’t just a personal struggle against the patriarchy. It’s a systemic strategy. It’s how rigid, patriarchal religions have kept their power for centuries—by convincing women that silence is sacred, that obedience is holy, and that shrinking is spiritual.

But here’s the truth: your soul was never meant to be small.

The Doctrine of Disappearance

Many traditional religious structures have taught women to disappear. To be quiet. Serve. Submit. To stay in the background while men lead, speak, decide, and define. And by “traditional”, I mean patriarchal as well…

And it’s not just about roles—it’s about energy. These systems thrive when feminine energy is suppressed. When intuition is dismissed. And softness is mocked. When power is hoarded.

Listen, feeling small isn’t a flaw—it’s a consequence.

A cartoon of a massive hand with extended index finger pressing on a very small figure. Interpreted in this case as the feeling of being small in a patriarchy
Reduce, re-use, recycle applies to online as well!!

The Spiritual Cost of Shrinking

When women shrink, the world loses balance. And by women feeling small, the patriarchy finds its job much, much easier.

We lose the healers, the visionaries, the truth-speakers. Lose the wisdom that comes from cycles, emotion, and deep knowing. We lose the sacred feminine—and with it, the wholeness of spiritual life.

And let’s be clear: this isn’t just about religion. It’s about any system that tells you your voice is too much, your body is a distraction, your leadership is unnatural.

Taking Up Space Is Sacred Work

Taking up space isn’t arrogance. It’s alignment.

It’s saying: My soul is here for a reason.
Or saying: I will not apologise for existing.
Maybe it’s saying: I trust my voice, my wisdom, my presence.

When you speak up, you disrupt centuries of conditioning.
By leading, you rewrite spiritual history.
When you take up space, you reclaim the divine feminine.

Resistance Looks Like Radiance

You don’t have to burn down the temple. You just have to stop shrinking inside it.

No need to fight every battle. You just have to stop abandoning yourself.

Being loud isn’t obligatory. You just have to be whole.

This is how we dismantle the old systems—not just with protest, but with presence. With truth. With women who refuse to be small anymore.

Your Space Is Sacred

So speak. Lead. Shine.
Take up space in your workplace, your community, your spiritual circles.
Take up space in your own life.

Because every time a woman expands, the world shifts.
Every time a woman stands tall, the old structures tremble.
Every time a woman says, “I am here,” the divine feminine rises.

And that, my darlin, is holy.

Speak Your Truth: The Spiritual Cost of Staying Silent

It’s a lovely idea, isn’t it? That being quiet, diligent, and dependable will naturally lead to recognition and growth. That people will just know what you want. That your energy will speak for itself.

But here’s the truth: silence can be a form of self-abandonment.

You can work hard, stay on top of everything, and still be overlooked. Not because you’re not good enough—but because you haven’t claimed your space. You haven’t spoken your truth.

In the spiritual world, we talk about alignment. But alignment requires clarity. It requires communication. The universe responds to intention, not assumption.

If you don’t speak up, no one will know what lights you up—or what drains you.

No one will know that the weekly report feels like a soul-sucking chore and you’d rather it be shared across the team.

No one will know that you have a master’s in data science and that your soul sparks at the idea of diving into that new project—unless you say it.

Silence doesn’t protect you. It hides you.

On a beige background, there's three black streaks with the words SPEAK YOUR TRUTH written on them.
You don’t necessarily have to be extremely loud, but you can be proud!!

Repetition Is a Spiritual Practice

Sometimes, you have to repeat yourself. Not because people aren’t listening, but because energy takes time to shift. You’re planting seeds. You’re training the soil.

Think of it like teaching a toddler how to tie their shoes. You don’t say it once and expect mastery. You guide. Rinse and repeat. You hold space for the learning.

So if there’s something you want—something that feels aligned with your gifts—keep saying it. Monthly check-ins. Casual conversations. Intentional nudges.

Trust me, you’re not being annoying. You’re being clear. The Universe takes time to shift…

Taking Up Space Is Sacred Work

Taking up space isn’t just about career progression, or expanding a group’s awareness or educating people. It’s about soul expansion.

Consider walking into rooms with your full energy. Trusting that your voice matters. It’s about choosing connection over comfort.

Sometimes, it means chatting with someone new over coffee. Sometimes, it means sharing your expertise with a project lead or a community action leader. It means speaking up in a meeting or a full room—even if your heart is pounding.

If you’ve ever sat in a meeting thinking, “I know more about this than they do,” then it’s time.

Say the thing.

Don’t Make Yourself Small

The world will try to shrink you. Don’t help it.

At first, you might need a plan. One sentence in a meeting. One email to your manager. One moment of courage.

You might feel awkward. Might chicken out. You might say it and feel exposed.

But you’ll survive. And you’ll grow.

And you might just find that people are listening. That your words carry weight. That your presence shifts the room.

So don’t hide. Don’t fade. Don’t wait.

Step forward. Speak your truth.

Take up the space.

Feeling Small: The Silent Saboteur of Your Soul’s Expansion

Feeling small doesn’t always look dramatic. It’s not always tears or breakdowns. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Subtle. It’s the way you shrink in meetings. The way you hesitate to share your ideas. The way you convince yourself that your voice isn’t needed.

But here’s the truth: feeling small is a spiritual wound. It disconnects you from your power, your purpose, and your presence.

Let’s explore how it shows up—and how it holds you back.

Saying “Yes” When Your Soul Screams “No”

You keep saying yes. To tasks. Meetings. The next course. A new book. You do it to be helpful, to be liked, to avoid conflict. Or because you feel like you need this. But it’s not from your soul.

And every yes that isn’t aligned chips away at your energy.

Spiritual cost: You lose touch with your inner compass. You start living for others, not from your truth.

A cartoon image of a huge hand with pointed index finger landing on a very small human figure.
Best cartoon I’ve found for “feeling small” and it’s from Erin Lo’s website.

Hiding Your Light

You stay quiet. Don’t share your insights. You let others take the spotlight—even when you know you have something valuable to offer.

Tell yourself it’s humility, all you want. But really, it’s fear.

Spiritual cost: Your gifts go unused. Your soul feels unseen. You start believing you’re not meant to shine.

Dimming Your Achievements

You downplay your wins. Brush off praise. You tell yourself it’s no big deal. Sure anyone could do it, right? Except…

But your soul knows better. It knows how hard you worked. It knows how much you’ve grown.

Spiritual cost: You disconnect from your own worth. You stop celebrating your journey.

Over-Apologising

You say sorry for existing. For asking questions. For taking up space.

But you were never meant to be small. You were meant to be whole.

Spiritual cost: You reinforce the belief that you’re a burden, not a blessing.

Not Asking for What You Desire

You wait. You hope someone will notice. Hope the universe will deliver without you having to speak.

But manifestation requires clarity. It requires action. It requires you to name your desires.

Spiritual cost: You stay stuck. You live in longing instead of alignment.

Internalising Every Critique

You take feedback as proof of failure. Replay mistakes again and again and again. You let one comment define your worth.

But your soul is resilient. It learns. Evolves. It doesn’t need perfection—it needs compassion.

Spiritual cost: You lose confidence. You stop trusting your own wisdom.

Avoiding Sacred Conflict

Look, we all do this. You let things slide. Stay silent when boundaries are crossed. You avoid discomfort.

But conflict, when conscious, is a path to healing. It’s a way to honour your truth.

Spiritual cost: You betray yourself. You miss the chance to grow and to teach others how to treat you.

Reclaiming Your Soul Space

Feeling small is not your destiny. It’s a pattern. And patterns can be broken.

Start by noticing. Then by choosing differently. Speak your truth. Honour your desires. Celebrate your wins. Set your boundaries.

You don’t need to be loud. You just need to be present.

No one is demanding perfection. You just need to be real.

Forget about permission. You already have it—from your soul.

So step forward. Take up space. Let your energy expand.

You are worthy. Powerful.

You are here for a reason.

Brigid and morality

Not my usual topics, I know – linking Brigid and Morality. But there’s a broader theme, here, I promise!

For a change, I’m covering something a bit topical in the wider world: The Coldplay Debacle. To be clear, Coldplay has nothing to do with this at all. Well, other than this couple being at one of their concerts.

I’ve got to be honest, my housemate shared with with me the relevant picture, with the words, “Have you heard about the Coldplay scandal?” And I was genuinely shocked. For someone who grew up in a time when Gary Glitter was synonymous with 2rock scandal”, Coldplay is just not in the same league.

And no, I’m not linking to anything mentioning Gary Glitter.

If you like your scandals a bit more manageable, check out the behaviour of the major bands from the 70’s and 80’s. Throwing tellies out the window, drunken debauchery with possible teenagers, random acts of “rockstardom”… seriously. Way back in the depths of Gen X youth, rock stars were rebels. Coldplay? Not so much.

A picture of Chris Martin, about whose morals I have no question. I'm dubious about his links to Brigid, but his morals are probably grand...
Obligatory picture of Chris Martin from the concert in question.

Extramarital affairs

Now, most of the time, I say what consenting adults do in private is their own business. And I stand by that. No one has any right to be telling any consenting adult what they can and can’t do.

But, as humans, we have obligations to others in our lives. And for me, a major obligation is a life partner to whom you’ve promised fidelity. So, this post isn’t covering polygamous relationships. Not the ones where all parties are fully aware and knowledgeable about the extent of the polygamy and agree to it.

But an affair is different. Very different.

For a start, at least one party to the relationship hasn’t consented to this element of the relationship. I mean, most of us like to know who we’re sleeping with, even by proxy.

Brigid doesn’t dictate morality to us. There are no “10 Commandments” in any pagan spirituality. Even the famous Wiccan Rede is a) applicable to only a small element of paganism and b) not exactly what it says on the tin. Our morality is up to us to define and live up to.

So, why am I writing about extramarital affairs?

Spirituality, Brigid and morality

I said above that Brigid doesn’t give us a list of rules to run our lives by. That’s not the way her morality works. I’ve written before on how she informs my ethics, but that’s just not the same as morality for me. So, how do I look at this?

Morals can be defined as “standards of behaviour” or ” principles of right and wrong”. But there so much nuance involved here. It’s very easy to say “killing people is wrong”.

But then…

Brigid doesn’t ask us to roll over and not defend ourselves. There are few people in the world that would argue against fighting back to save your own life. Or to save the life of an innocent.

We each draw the line where think it’s best placed. Thankfully, I’ve not killed a person in my life. But I know from friends of mine who have served in the armed forces that taking a life leaves a mark.

It’s not necessarily a black mark or an evil mark, but it’s a change. Brigid doesn’t dictate “no killing”. But she has rules around right relationship. And when death is appropriate and when it is not.

If we are to live in line with our morals and with Brigid, how then do we decide what are our morals?

Determining our morals

For me, saying I won’t kill in most circumstances is a fairly easy choice to make. Joining any armed forces was never really a consideration for me. Being in a situation where killing a person was a reality has also not been a consideration for me.

I live a quiet life in many ways.

But just extend that out then. Does Brigid and my own morality limit how I imagine behaving with others? I hope not, because there are times and days that imagining some grievous harm to others is what gets me through the day! I know in reality it’s completely unrealistic and extremely unlikely to happen, but y’know…

Equally, when it comes to extramarital affairs: if both parties in a marriage agree to an open relationship, that to me isn’t an affair and isn’t a moral issue. But when one party decides to cheat and the other party isn’t aware of it – that’s a definite moral issue. Or it is to me.

There are people who view the bonds of marriage differently. For centuries, marriage was a business transaction, not a romantic one. And of course, rich and powerful men (usually men, but sometimes women) have always been able to get away with adultery with few consequences. Ahem. it becomes an issue when one party expects fidelity and the other doesn’t.

So, when looking at walking Brigid’s path and determining your own morality guidelines, what should you consider?

The ultimate test for morality – and Brigid!

For me, the test has never been Brigid, morality or indeed anyone else. For me, the test is whether I can look at myself in the mirror or not. Brigid and morality have little to do with it, but that’s my test as to whether I’m happy with my behaviour or not.

Because while I might agree, in general, that killing people is wrong, if someone threatened my niece? Totally different story. I’d willingly give up my own life and others to save her. (Hopefully this will never be tested, mind)

When you look into yourself, do the inner work, really assess yourself and you’re happy with what you see? Chances are, you’re probably ok.

But if you’re hiding your face from a kiss cam at a concert?

Maybe time to reassess where you stand…

Brigid, the sea and healing

I’ve written before, on several occasions about Brigid, the sea and healing, which is reminiscent of the Brigid sea’s soothing nature.

A picture of me in the sea at Tramore - healing with Brigid. I've my hair in plaits, the sea is calm as glass, I'm in multicoloured swimming togs and yes, I still have my glasses on!!
A picture of me in the sea at Tramore – healing with Brigid

But a few weeks ago, I was reminded why I associate Brigid with the sea and healing so much. Now the history of healing and the sea is long established. Anyone who has ever read Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Anne Bronte (or indeed her sisters, Charlotte and Emily) will know that “taking the sea air” was considered a remedy in 19th century Britain at least. (And because of colonialism, in Ireland as well – for those that could afford it!)

That was mostly due to the lack of pollution in sea side areas, as well as the fashion for promenading along the sea front and taking some time away from the stresses of modern living, akin to the gentle embrace of the Brigid sea. Personally, I can’t think of much more stressful than having to change outfits 20 times a day and trying to catch a good husband, who I would then go on to live with from the age of <20… (I may be exaggerating the average experience here, but y’know – it’s my blog!)

And I can equally think that getting enough food on the table might be every so slightly stressful for those not in the higher echelons of society. Not to mention, keeping everyone semi-healthy, alive, clothed… Stress was high in previous centuries. It was just a bit more obvious than today’s stress. But either way, I can’t see how the sea doesn’t help with stress!! From the shore anyway.

Alright, being fair about it, the only story I’ve ever come across linking the deity and the sea was the folk tale in Courtney Weber’s book, where Brigid and Bres met on the seashore to mourn Ruadhán. Neither she nor I have been able to find the source for that – but I’ve not given up yet! Such stories connect Brigid and the sea in intriguing ways.

However.

However.

Let’s not give up hope yet. Through the saint, Brigid is closely related to healing wells. And healing wells have water in them. Usually, anyway. As I have said before, you can’t walk more than a few paces on this island before tripping over a healing well, a stream, a pond, whatever-you’re-having-yourself…

We’re a wet country. Comes from all the rain. We have a lot of wells. We have a lot of water in general. (OK, the water authority will declare drought after 20mins without rain, but they’re known for being a bit concerned about things like that!)

And sea water is basically rain water that’s travelled from the fields to the sea. It’s still water. And therefore linked to Brigid. Even without the folk tale.

But the folk tale is an interesting one – particularly when one of the options for Formorians was coming from either over or under the sea. (Seeing as Ireland was an island, well how else would they get here!) So, seeing as how Brigid married into the Formorians through Bres, she has a link at least to the sea.

Aside from the possibility that Brigid herself came from over the sea (I’ll write a blogpost on this another time. It’s linked to the idea that Brigid came to Ireland via the Brigantes from Northern England. Yes, I have feelings about this…)

The sea itself

Now, bathing in sea water is beneficial for all sorts of things.

  • Skin Health: Seawater is rich in minerals like magnesium, zinc, and potassium, which can help reduce inflammation and soothe skin conditions like psoriasis and eczema. 
  • Respiratory Issues: Saltwater can help with symptoms of hay fever, sinusitis, and asthma. 
  • Immunity: Seawater can help boost a weakened immune system, although more research is needed to confirm this. 
  • Stress Reduction: The relaxing environment of the sea and the minerals in seawater can help lower cortisol levels and promote relaxation. 
  • Pain Relief: Seawater has been used to ease pain associated with musculoskeletal disorders. 
  • Wound Healing: Some believe that seawater can help heal wounds and prevent infections. 

In my family, sea water is notorious for helping with ingrown toenails that get infected and athlete’s foot. And I can confirm that definitely my hayfever symptoms improve dramatically from spending time by the sea. (My hayfever symptoms also improve dramatically from spending time in Monart‘s Alpine salt grotto. But driving to Tramore is significantly cheaper. Usually.)

Now, of course, not all of the above might apply to you. But even the salt content in sea water means people can float a lot easier. And it’s so relaxing on a calm day to bob about in the water. Staring into nothing. A great way to let your thoughts and mind calm a little bit.

Just even from a mindfulness point of view, I highly recommend it.

Healing at home

I appreciate not everyone has the ability to pop off to the seaside when the mood takes them. But there are ways you can do it at home.

A salt water bath is the obvious idea. Add some salt – yes, even just normal table salt – to your bathwater and soak a while. If a bath is beyond you, try a foot bath.

I find it a wonderful way to ground myself as well as just feeling good.

If you live in a hot climate, use lukewarm water. If you’re feeling cold, use warmer or hot water. Just remember, the hotter the water, the more salt you can dissolve.

You can of course add in all sorts of other things as well: seaweed is pretty easily available in Ireland these days, I’m not sure about elsewhere. If you’re trying to clear out sinuses, I find Vick’s extremely good. Science says the menthol only tricks your brain into believing your sinuses are clear, but frankly, I feel better after using it and that’s good enough for me. So, a dob of Vick’s and some salt in some boiling water, with a towel over your head helps immensely.

Be careful and you do you

As always – you can take the healing advice with a pinch of salt. I am only a random person on the internet and am filling you in on my family’s habits. These may or may not work for you. I know there are people with skin conditions who find sea water inflames the condition and doesn’t help at all. Dipping yourself in salt water with an open wound stings like hell. It might not be your cup of tea.

That’s ok, you do you.

But if you’re feeling stressed, out of sorts, miserable, up in a heap and can get to the sea… just give it a go. If nothing else, in Ireland at least, there’s usually a sea breeze to clear out the cobwebs!!

And if all else fails, a bit of seawater in a sealed jar for your altar won’t hurt!

Effects of colonisation in Ireland

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post showing some of the effects of colonisation in Ireland. But this week I want to explore it in more detail. Because, I think some people just don’t get it.

Y’see, to understand colonisation, you have to consider profit and loss. Check out this quote from a Trinity College Dublin post:

One thing is clear, imperialism was – and is – about the acquisition of territory, about settler colonialism, about the exercise of political and economic power, and about violence and coercion. Strategies about how best to turn conquest into profit, to marshal, mobilise and control natural resources, especially land and labour, varied from empire to empire but the often grim reality of everyday life did not change and provoked a wide variety of responses ranging from acceptance, accommodation, assimilation and innovation, to resistance, rebellion and deadly colonial wars.

Imperialism and colonialism are two sides of the same coin in my opinion – although of course there are differences between them. For those of us not running in the academic area in question though, let’s just go with it.

Natural resources

Prior to the colonisation of this island, Ireland was covered in trees. In fact, on the Teagasc history of forests in Ireland, the claim is made:

It was said that a squirrel could travel from one end of Ireland to the other without ever touching the ground as more than 80% of the land was covered by forests.

A common misconception is that the Irish forests were lot due to the need for oak in England. It’s not entirely true. The forests were down to about 20% of the landscape by the time the 16th century came round, but it’s certain the colonisers were more concerned about extracting wealth from their new land than about husbanding resources for future generations. While the move from 80% coverage to 20% coverage took about 5,500 years. The last 20%? Less than 300 years. So it’s not all the Brit’s fault, but y’know – #nevernotatit.

The same with our animals, our land, our food… we covered in the post on the Great Famine about how Ireland was feeding Britain by the 19th century. Starving ourselves, but feeding them. Even today, Great Britain imports 46% of its food. (The numbers for Ireland are much more difficult to figure out, but in 2023, we exported approx €18billion and imported €13billion – but a good €4billion of that import was from Northern Ireland. And y’know… is that really importing?)

But the fact is that while under colonial rule, Ireland got poorer. Or at least the native Irish got poorer. Our landlords weren’t much better, but most admit that was due to mismanagement, lack of care and generally grinding the land to the finest dust to get the most money out of it – through that need to conquer and subjugate, inherent in the whole notion of colonisation (in Ireland and elsewhere).

Language and culture

Colonisation has had a massive effect on Irish culture and language. Anyone from pre-1600 Ireland would be appalled at some of the changes made in our land. Particularly in our language.

Now, it has to be said that the Brits didn’t technically murder anyone for speaking Irish as a law. Nowhere in the Penal Laws was it illegal to speak Irish. in 1737, a law was passed to say Irish couldn’t be spoken in court. But aside from that, the Penal Laws were far more focused on religion rather than language.

However.

And there’s always a however.

To get an education – you pretty much had to speak English.

Any professional job – needed English.

Irish was seen as the backward language of the peasantry, and shameful in “enlightened” quarters.

This is an excerpt from the Museum at Home Country Life handout from the National Museum of Ireland. It outlines the introduction of free primary school education across Ireland, where reading, writing and arithmetic were taught. It also highlights the punishment a child got from speaking Irish - a direct consequence of colonisation.
An extract from the Museum at Home Country Life handout from the National Museum of Ireland

The above handout can be downloaded in full here.

Pádraig Pearse is the person credited with the phrase “tír gan teanga, tír gan anam”. (A country without a lanuguage is a country without a soul). And the Brits did their best to beat the soul out of Ireland in that case. You see, language influences the way we think, as well as the way we speak. Want an example?

Well, in Irish, you say “Tá brón orm” or “sadness is upon me”, rather than “I am sad”. It’s the same for all of the emotions. They are something that comes upon you, not something you inherently are.

Think about that for a minute. Think about how that would affect the way you think about feelings and emotions? I’m not saying the Irish before colonisation were sane, perfectly mentally healthy and all that. But what I am saying, is that colonisation in Ireland has left an indelible mark on the way we think about things.

Not just language

And no, it’s not just language. We would not be so inherently dependent on the spud for so long if it weren’t for colonisation. Ireland might have had a different effect on the global culture without colonisation.

The amount of emigration this country has suffered, we’ve still not recovered the population we had before the Famine. In either the 32 counties or the 26+6, whichever way you look at it, colonisation led to the loss of our people. Ireland has suffered. And ok, there are folks who maintain that emigration was a benefit to Ireland.

I don’t agree with them. Yes, there are benefits to fluency in English – although many from Great Britain would not agree the Irish are necessarily fluent in the language. And there are many influences still evident within the way the Irish speak English, that come directly from Irish. But you can look at Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland for places that don’t speak English as a primary language but manage quite well in the world.

You could say that access to the Commonwealth, not to mention the British Army, was a way for Irish emigrants to manage abroad. Except that pre-colonisation, Ireland had contacts all over the place. Particularly in Europe, but further afield as well. And had Ireland remained a sovereign nation, there’s no reason to believe that would have failed.

Ireland and colonisation

It’s only really now, 100 years after the 26 counties gained independence, that Ireland is acknowledging its post-colonial trauma. Really, it’s only in very recent years, we stopped looking to Britain for how we go on in the world.

As a nation, we are reaching deep into ourselves to see how we want things to change and things to be different. The ongoing, regular protests about the housing crisis is one such example. The pressure on the Irish government to do something about boycotts or sanctions on Israeli settlements in Gaza is another.

Our people lean far harder to James Connolly and the concepts in the Proclamation of Independence, than it does to the highly restrictive environment that took over the country in the mid-20th century.

The Irish Republic is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman. The Republic guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens, and declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and of all its parts, cherishing all the children of the nation equally, and oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an alien Government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.

– excerpt from the Proclamation of Independence

We actively look to be open and inclusive. We were the first country in the world to gain marriage equality rights by popular vote. (Thank you, referendum!) While the far right is trying to gain a foothold in our nation, the perpetrators are highlighted as being foreigners, trying to force the Irish into a fascist regime that very few people on the island want. We’ve done our share of colonisation. We’ve started to stand up and acknowledge that whatever the UK and US think – we have minds of our own and we’re willing to go against them when necessary.

Yes, we offer great tax breaks to foreign multinationals willing to base operations in this country. It gives employment to our people. Yes, there are advantages to doing exams in Irish. We want our language to be a living vehicle for our people.

Our housing and healthcare could do with a massive overhaul. Absolutely.

But we’re in charge of our own destiny and we’re no longer looking outside our country for what’s right and wrong. Because we realise that all those centuries of being told we’re dim, stupid, less than, barely human… we’re shaking them off.