Tag: brigid’s path

Brigid and guilt

I know Brigid isn’t strongly associate with Christmas or Solstice for that matter. But guilt is. It’s a big one this time of year! Today we’re going to talk about how to manage guilt and use Brigid to help.

Now, I’ve written in passing about guilt before. But I’ve not done a deep dive into it at all. And particularly with women, particularly at this time of year, guilt tends to end up playing a major role in events.

OK, this isn't Brigid and guilt, but it does show a cartoon woman, with a collar and chain around her neck, and a large ball with "guilt" written on it that she's trying to pull around with her. Guilt has weight.
OK, it’s not always this obvious, but that’s part of the problem!

Guilt vs Shame

The two can often get confused. I like Psychology Today‘s differentiation:

Shame and guilt are two closely related concepts. While each has been defined in different ways, guilt is typically linked to some specific harm, real or perceived, and shame involves negative feelings about one’s self more generally.

Now, ok that article doesn’t link Brigid and guilt, but bear with me, ok?

Guilt has been posited to be useful in developing social conscience, communities, interpersonal relationships. Mainly in the “apologising when we do wrong” arena. But honestly, that’s not the guilt we’re talking about here.

The problem is that guilt can lead to shame. And both can lead to, or be an element in, mental illness.

So, y’know, I like to give some options.

Particular guilt around holidays

Listen, this is a time of year when “you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people, all of the time” comes into play. Brigid didn’t play with guilt when she had stuff she needed to get done! But also, Brigid wasn’t living in the modern world…

There are loads of conflicting priorities and it gets worse where there are kids involved.

  • Cost of presents
  • Trying to ensure the child doesn’t get the same pressie from 5 different people
  • The time everything takes
  • The inevitable feeling that one family or another feels left out
  • The growing list of things that make up Christmas (or Hannukah, or Solstice, or whatever your holiday is at this time of year)
  • The feeling of begrudgery at having to do all of this
  • The feeling of guilt over the begrudgery, followed by anger at the guilt, followed by guilt at the “lack of gratitude”…

Listen, we can spiral away here. What we need are some tried and true tactics.

Brigid, Guilt, What?

Brigid doesn’t play with guilt too much. Particularly in the hagiographies, we see her, time and again, taking steps to make things better rather than live with the guilt.

There’s no element of guilt in here when she makes an unborn baby “go away”. (Read: abortion). Certainly none mentioned at giving away her father’s sword, not to mention pulling out her brother’s eye…

She’s fierce practical, and practicality doesn’t always leave room for guilt. It does sometimes, no one’s perfect. But, y’know, it’s a barrier against guilt.

Y’see, it’s not that Brigid doesn’t feel guilt, I’m sure of that. The TDD weren’t necessarily human in the way we understand it, but they overlap a lot with humans. And that means guilt is on the menu.

But we can’t let guilt paralyse us.

What can we do?

Well, first and foremost, outline the areas where you might be feeling guilt. For most of us, it’s conflicting family needs and wants. There are many people who have a fixed idea of what Christmas must look like and any deviation from that is sacrilegious.

And when you’re the person who needs/wants to deviate from that set idea… well, it can lead to guilt tripping on a massive scale.

Now – there are people who will tell you they don’t feel guilt. I challenge those people to deal with a Catholic family background and say the same. It’s not that it’s a moral failing to not feel guilt. It’s more that it’s bred or bet into us…

So, what are the situations that guilt comes up?

  • Kids don’t get the toys they want
  • Parents or in-laws don’t feel like you’ve spent enough time with them
  • People feel the exchange of gifts was unequal

Honestly, the top two there are the main ones, and really… the second one is the killer.

Brigid was a mother too

Very true. And I’ve no doubt, as a mother, Brigid used guilt as a weapon in her toolbox to try and engage with her kid(s)

And, going by my experience in the last few days, it’s usually mothers pulling on the guilt strings. Worse – it’s usually their daughters they’re pulling on.

When the sayings such as “your son is your son til he gets a wife, your daughter is your daughter all your life” are still so common, maybe it’s no wonder.

But as Gen X women, and older Millennials, we are breaking these chains, ok?

And that means standing up and shaking off the guilt. Reach into yourself and imagine how you want your kids to feel about you in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond.

And think of what’s important to you in this holiday season.

Truly important

Do you hanker after a house full of people, chaotic, but full of love?

Is more a quiet day with no phones beeping?

A grand feast, with everyone squishing around the table?

My husband? His essential component is the Dr Who Christmas Special.

Mine? Two solid days away from work, emails, etc to read. And watch some films.

It hasn’t been easy getting here. But we had always said once we got married, we’d be spending Christmas on our own, building our own traditions.

But once people have built expectations, how do you re-set?

Bit by bit.

Looks, Brigid – nor guilt – never said things were easy or quick. And this probably won’t be either. But this year, pick one thing that is truly important to you. Is it a carol service? A walk with the family? A single hour alone, with no demands being placed on you?

Talk to those who will be affected by this. Set this plan in motion. Make sure it’s feasible. While I’d love to fly our whole family over to Lanzarote for a week in the sun – it’s not feasible. Not unless I win the lotto tomorrow night and even then…

But be clear on what you’re claiming for you this Christmas.

But the guilt, Orlagh!

Yeah, I know. Just remember, someone else trying to guilt you, doesn’t mean you have to take on their attempts.

And always have a few key phrases in your back pocket.

  1. “I hear that this matters to you. Here’s what I can realistically do.”
    This acknowledges their feelings while clearly stating your limits.
  2. “I appreciate how much you care about family traditions. I need to do what works for my family this year.”
    Shows respect for their values but asserts your autonomy.
  3. “I understand this is disappointing. My decision is not about you, it’s about what’s best for me right now.”
    Separates their emotions from your choices, reducing guilt.
  4. “I love you and want to enjoy our time together. That means I need to set this boundary so I don’t feel overwhelmed.”
    Frames the boundary as a way to preserve the relationship.
  5. “I can’t do everything you’re asking, but here’s what I can offer.”
    Keeps the tone collaborative while maintaining control.

Now, this isn’t easy. Especially not if you’re not used to setting boundaries and dealing with guilt. But it’s worth it.

The above phrases are the basis, but you’ll probably need to adjust to suit your situations. For example:

  1. Listen, I know you love the whole family being there on Christmas Day. The thing is, it’s a 3 hour round trip and we’ll be exhausted. How about we spend the night on the 28th instead?
  2. I completely understand that ye’ve always gone to Midnight Mass together. But we need to start traditions for our family now. And for us, it’s more important for the kids to get to bed before 9pm than to go to Midnight Mass.
  3. I completely understand you’re disappointed about not seeing us on Christmas Day. This isn’t about not wanting to see you, it’s about letting the kids relax in their own home.
  4. I love you, I want to spend time with you. But honestly, I finish work on Christmas Eve and I’m back in on the 27th. I just need to crash those few days so I don’t get completely overwhelmed.
  5. I don’t get enough time off work to stay with ye for 2 weeks. I could come up for New Year’s Eve and stay 2 days?

While Brigid might not have had to deal with this sort of guilt, she doesn’t understand clear boundaries. Operating in the liminal can be powerful, but when it comes to families – clear, concrete, deliberate boundaries tend to work best.

Don’t spend the holidays eaten up with guilt

Take a leaf out of Brigid’s book and try to wash away the guilt. It doesn’t do any good and basically, ties you and probably half the family in knots.

Set clear boundaries.

Stick to said boundaries.

Plan in time for your important thing.

And do better next year!

Spiritual freedom: If you prick us…

… do we not bleed? Spiritual freedom is today’s topic and I’m feeling angry.

Spiritual freedom was not a thing in Shakespearian England: To bait fish withal: if it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
The full quote from Act III, Scene I, The Merchant of Venice

Shylock’s quote from The Merchant of Venice is oft quoted as speaking to the humanity of Jewish people. I mean, context is a thing here, but I want to explore a few things today that is strongly linked to this.

Brigid’s Path

I speak about helping women find their spiritual path and recover from strict, rigid, patriarchal, religious rules. Usually, I help them find the path that’s right for them. I help them find the spiritual freedom that has eluded them so far. That doesn’t mean abandoning the religion of their youth. Not always.

It can mean deconstructing and re-learning the core truths of that religion, in a way that strips the whole process of the patriarchal bullshit.

It can mean walking away and never engaging with that religion again.

It’s about what’s right for the person I’m working with.

Why am I talking about this?

Bondi Beach

The shootings on Bondi Beach, the murders on Bondi Beach, have the global Jewish community reeling. It’s very soon after the Manchester murders. It’s definitely a sign of rising anti-Semitism across the globe.

But as the article from the Irish Times points out – it’s no better for Muslims right now. Islamophobia is rising as well. (Yes, there are countries – plural – that has Islam as the majority religion, whereas there is only one – singular – where Judaism is the majority religion).

People are often shocked when I won’t decry one religion or the other. I don’t know why – again, I work with (mostly) women to help them find the spiritual freedom they crave!

I will speak to religions I know about – mainly the Irish flavour of Roman Catholicism, and sometimes Christianity more generally. But the faith at the heart of that religion? They all generally come down to the same issues.

  • Treat people right
  • Be decent to each other and the land and the animals
  • Don’t be an asshole

Ok, the technical definition of the above changes according to times and seasons and places, but that doesn’t mean they are wrong, as such.

Spiritual Freedom

I believe, deeply, that we all have the right to spiritual freedom. And by that – I mean, the right to practice our spirituality as long as it doesn’t impact on other people in a serious way.

Because someone told me earlier that lighting a candle in public impacts on other people. Seriously?

90% of my spiritual practice involves lighting candles and you want me to agree it’s wrong?? Go to hell.

Gathering in public doesn’t not, inherently, impinge on your life. Otherwise, people would have limits on how many teenagers are allowed in one place at one time…

Hang on…

It’s not about the religion

It’s about people seeing differences and being uncomfortable.

  • they dress differently
  • they speak a different language(s)
  • attending religious ceremonies on a different day!
  • eating weird food

I hope it’s obvious where I’m going with this.

It’s not about the religion.

Really, it’s about excuses. Deep down – it’s about not wanting to have to learn.

It’s about discomfort and it being easy to just write people off.

I’m just not here for it, people.

Human Rights

According to the Hague, the 18th Human Right is:

18. Freedom of thought and religion

Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

You see? This is basic shit.

Either we stand for all or we stand for none. In the end, I’m the wrong person to come to, expecting to see me decrying an entire population.

I live in the liminal too often.

I’ve said it before, I will say it again:

This is not about fucking religion.

Control? Sure. Fearmongering? Absolutely. “Othering” folk to make sure that fearmongering keeps strong? Definitely.

So, don’t let them fucking win. Remember – the power is with the people. Vote. Protest. Write. Phone.

Do whatever the hell means you have to remind your friends, neighbours, politicians that these people are just that: people.

Think about it: if people can refer to one group as vermin, who will they come from next?

If there’s a religious group that’s a legitimate target, what happens when they’re all gone?

What are you willing to put up with?

Preparing for Imbolc: A Gentle Invitation to Begin Now

As the days shorten and the year winds down, many of us feel the pull to turn inward – to rest, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most. Preparing for Imbolc doesn’t appear in our minds right now. But wait…

In the Irish seasonal calendar, this time of year is a quiet descent toward Imbolc, the festival that marks the first stirrings of spring. It’s a time of deep listening, of preparing the ground, both within and without, for what’s to come.

But if you’ve ever felt unsure about how to actually prepare for Imbolc, you’re not alone.

Maybe you’ve read about people leaving cloths out for Brigid, lighting candles, or holding rituals – but you’re not quite sure what it all means, or how to make it your own.

That’s exactly why I created this course.

An image showing the poster for Awakening the Flame, a three month journey to prepare for Imbolc. It shows a picture of Brigid with red ahri flowing around her, info around the course - that's outline in the text as well,: 5 online modules Extra meditations and documents Gradually providing ideas Building towards Imbolc
Poster for the Awakening the Flame course

Preparing for Imbolc: A Three-Month Journey of Spiritual Grounding

Starting in November, I’ll be guiding a small group through the same practices and reflections I use to prepare for Imbolc each year. This isn’t about doing more – it’s about doing what’s meaningful.

Together, we’ll explore a three-fold framework that supports your:

🌿 Physical preparation – tending to your space, your body, your home
💧 Emotional preparation – making space for reflection, release, and renewal
🔥 Spiritual preparation – connecting with Brigid as Smith, Poet, and Healer

You’ll learn how these archetypes can guide your own ritual design – whether you’re new to this path or have been walking it for years.

This Course Is for You If…

  • You feel drawn to Brigid and the Irish seasonal cycle, but want more structure and support
  • You’re craving a spiritual practice that’s both rooted in tradition and adaptable to modern life
  • You want to prepare for Imbolc in a way that honours your energy, your time, and your truth
  • You’re ready to create a ritual or observance that feels yours – not just a copy of someone else’s

Why Start Now?

Because true preparation takes time.


Your spiritual life deserves spaciousness.

The descent into winter is sacred too.

This course gives you three months to gently explore, reflect, and prepare. So that when Imbolc arrives, you’re not scrambling to “get it right.” You’re arriving with presence, clarity, and connection.

Join Me

✨ If you’re ready to deepen your relationship with Brigid, with the Irish seasonal cycle, and with your own inner wisdom — I’d love to walk this path with you.

✨Or you can pay all in one go here.

Let’s prepare for Imbolc — not in a rush, but in rhythm.

The one bad apple

A picture of several green apples, with one in the middle obviously rotten and infecting the ones around it. This applies to our spirituality as well!
One bad apple spoils the whole barrel

Very often, we talk about bad apples in organisations. But it’s often in the context of being a “one off” or an unusual event. It seems that people have forgotten about the full phrase and why it is key to root out the bad apples. (Why yes, this is following on from my thoughts last week on people…)

Apparently the phrase goes back to the 16th century, according to Merriam-Webster. (Great article there on the phrase, by the way!) And the full phrase?

One bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

People appear to forget this in the modern usage. The whole point of the phrase is that, given enough time, one piece of rotten fruit will spoil an entire barrel. And given enough time – one rotten person will spoil an entire organisation.

We’ve all seen it. A nice group, focused on a singular goal, working well together. Someone comes in. Starts causing trouble. Not in a positive way, but starts engaging in backbiting, divide-and-conquer tactics to get their own way.

And soon, that’s the way the whole group acts. The original unity of purpose is gone.

I’ve seen it in professional organisations, friend groups, spiritual groups… you name it.

Seriously, though? One Bad Apple?

Yeah, seriously. Y’see, what a person is doing there is moving the Overton Window. They’re moving the band of acceptable behaviour in a group of people.

We’ve seen an example of it in US politics over the last 9 months. Things that were previously thought of as completely anathema, have become normal. OK, I’m not sure that’s down to one, singular bad apple, but the Overton window has certainly moved…

And it works on us, personally as well. Who we spend time with influences our thoughts, our thought patterns, what we consider acceptable and not acceptable in life.

I get it. This feels wrong to be saying, that you shouldn’t hang out with people who you don’t fully agree with on everything. And I don’t think there’s a single person in the world I agree with 100% on everything. But there are lines I draw that make someone ok to spend time with or not.

For example, if I see someone acting in a way I don’t like in a professional setting – being sexist, racist, etc – then that’s not a person I want to spend time with in a social setting. And vice versa. I don’t buy into the idea that business is just that, business. I believe that people show us who they truly where when the repercussions of their behaviour are are minimal.

if someone is a bad apple in a social setting, they are likely to be a bad apple in a professional or spiritual one as well.

What has this got to do with spirituality?

Well, we often speak of community in spiritual circles. And if we’re honest, for many of us, this means virtual community. So it’s not a case of being able to pop round the neighbours for a chat about Samhain rituals. It’s more a case of posting online and seeing who responds.

But sometimes you get so desperate for some face-to-face time with fellow believers that you accept behaviours that are major red flags.

Don’t get me wrong- I’d love to just step outside my door and have a community on my doorstep. But I want it with minimal input from me and to have it ready to go – and life doesn’t work that way. Right now, if I were to take part in that sort of community, I would have to bend some fairly seriously principles of mine…

The bad apple doesn’t always appear as the cartoon villain, y’see.

Cartoon villain?

Yeah – you know, ugly, black cloak, likes to hide in corners?

The bad apple is very often a stalwart member of the community. They’ve created that space for themselves. It can very often be you. Or me.

It can be someone working with the best of intentions, but just not doing the right things. And yes, I agree with this.

What about ourselves as bad apples?

OK, so here’s where we need to consider the bad apple analogy in ourselves.

Because so much of what we do as humans is habit, so entering into good or bad habits can have lasting consequences beyond what we currently see. For example, the first time we skip the gym after a few months of solid work – doesn’t seem to bad. There’s a valid excuse or reason. There’s an injury or car trouble or a big meeting at work.

But then skipping the next time is that bit easier. You’ve already broken your streak after all. it’s not as big a deal.

Pretty so0n, you find yourself back to legging it out of the house in the morning, with nary a thought of the gym in your head.

It works like this for spirituality and morals as well. The first time you break a personal rule, it’s tough. You have to think hard about it. But the second time? So much easier.

So if you meditate every day, skipping one day, doesn’t seem so bad. And to be honest, it probably isn’t.

But the second day? The third day? The tenth day? Those are the days to look out for. Because pretty soon, that time you’d dedicated to spending on your spirituality has disappeared into the ether of work, life and non-spirituality work.

And somehow you find yourself not spending the time you want to spend on your spirituality at all, but you’re doing nothing more with your life either? How do you get back on track?

Well, yeah, I have a few courses that can help with that, but sometimes money isn’t the answer.

Sometimes you have to identify the bad apple

I was at a conference on Friday to do with work – cos why else – and the talk was around self care, twisty careers, mindfulness, little thoughts, all that sort of things. But it struck me – cos I see it all the time with myself – that sometimes we need to identify the bad apples within ourselves.

Now with spirituality, the bad apples show up a bit differently. But it starts with self reflection. It starts with assessing who you are, what you’re doing and what you plan to do. What’s something you want to do, what something you want to stop doing?

What are the habits or practices you’re continuing out of habit, but you know they’re problematic?

Where can you see yourself straying from the path you intend to walk in a negative way?

Some examples would help here, Orlagh

OK fair. Here are some things I had to assess over the last few years:

  • I stopped going to Mass. It was the response of the Church to virtual mass and the concern re collections going down that tipped me over the edge here. I’m still ok to turn up to weddings, funerals, etc – although I know many people aren’t – but my line is weekly Mass.
  • I keep track of the authors I’m reading to make sure I’m reading a diverse range, and not just white men and women. This weekend, because of exhaustion, I got through N. K. Jemison’s Dreamblood duology. Really entertaining and promotes a seriously different way of thinking about the world.
  • I’ve stopped reading and mentioning certain authors who don’t align with my views and who use their platform to support some seriously horrendous thoughts. No, not mentioning them here… but y’know, I bet ye could guess one or two.
  • I’ve stopped shopping in certain places. Because they don’t support my ideals of fair trade and fair wages. Now, this is one area where I can improve further. Shein still features because of their excellent size ranges and they really have outfits I can’t get in my size elsewhere. But I tend to focus the majority of my money on places like Tempted

I know you’re probably thinking, “what in hell has this got to do with spirituality?” Well, Spirituality isn’t just for specific periods of the week. It’s about how we live our lives. And when we live our lives in line with our ideals, our morals and our practices, it makes life flow better.

My shopping habit at Shien is a bad apple, and one I have to keep an eye on. I have set spending limits to manage this and if I see something I love, I search elsewhere to see if I can find it in my size from a better retailer. Unfortunately, the answer to the first part is nearly always no.

(Those who are about to suggest making my own clothes – I love to do this. But it takes time and plus size patterns, neither of which are in good supply)

Bad apples inside ourselves don’t have to be cut out. They should be addressed, evaluated, checked… and when they start spoiling the whole barrel, eradicated. I don’t think my €20 a month habit on Shein is the worst thing in the world. It’s not the best, but not the worst. The clothes I get are either worn to bits or passed on to people I know will wear them. Most of the time.

We’re not perfect. And while the bad apple terminology can seem like we should be perfect, it’s not the case.

But be wary of those little slips. And make sure, when the bad habits creep in, you’re conscious of it.

Brigid, light and people

An image from my instagram account, saying on top
Check out more info here!

I’ve written about light and Brigid before on this blog. On several occasions in fact. And you’re probably wondering what in hell that has to do with my Instagram post this morning.

Bringing a bit of joy and laughter to people’s lives is part of how I lighten up the dark part of the year, shining with the metaphorical Brigid light. (Also why I used so many candles

Does Brigid approve of laughter?

Laughter brings lightness into our lives. We’ve been discussing this in the Collective this week, the experience of joy in spirituality. It’s amazing how many people don’t experience joy in spirituality at all. Or if they do, it’s a very specific kind of joy – like singing in a group.

But we have loads of early Church examples of how spirituality has to come with joy. This includes warmth, akin to the essence of Brigid light, which fills the spirit with happiness.

But first – whenever I talk about joy, I quote Terry Pratchett:

“That’s my daughter,” said the king. “I ought to feel
sad. Why don’t I?”

EMOTIONS GET LEFT BEHIND. IT’S ALL A MATTER OF
GLANDS.

“Ah. That would be it, I suppose.”

― Terry Pratchett, Mort

The words in all caps are from Death, it’s a convention Pratchett uses through the books. And if you’re looking for books to raise the spirits through the winter months, you won’t go too far wrong with the Discworld ones!

But back to the primary question, does Brigid approve of laughter.

Key UPG moment here: this is my opinion, rather than based in lore, but in my experience and in my opinion, yes, Brigid is very approving of laughter. She has the Irish approach to the topic – there’s as much laughing as crying at what might be considered a “normal” funeral in Ireland.

And while she gave us keening, she never stopped us laughing.

Brigid is associated with light in many stories. And some of her stories are genuinely funny – well if you have a twisted sense of humour like I do.

Brigid, light and spiritual joy

Here’s four other Catholic saints calling out for joy in spirituality:

  • “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” – Saint Teresa of Avila
  • “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” – Saint Paul the Apostle (Philippians 4:4)
  • “The soul of one who serves God always swims in joy, always keeps holiday, and is always in the mood for singing.” – Saint John Vianney
  • St. Augustine of Hippo wrote, “Joy is the net of love by which you can catch souls.”

I particularly enjoy Saint John Vianney there. Always being in the mood for singing tells me he definitely felt joy in his life!

We have in recent centuries become accustomed to religion in particular being dark and dour, rather than light and happy. (All to do with oppression and control to be honest)

Restricting our laughter, our joy, our light, really limits how we can move forward in spirituality. I mean, why would you want to move forward onto a path that is just causing you pain and torment with nothing to lighten things?

Brigid appreciates we’re human and we need the light as much as the darkness. She also understands that there will forever people that will seek to put down and oppress others. We see this all over the world.

But this is where laughter can fight back against that oppression as well.

I read a lot of dystopian fiction

Surprising no one, I’d say. And a lot of the time, I can see a stage in resistance or building to resistance, where things appear so dark, so lonely, so miserable… it’s a wonder anyone can ever consider rebelling.

But then the gleams of lightness and laughter appear. There’s a secret or not-so-secret underground pub or bar. There are songs. There is dancing.

There’s always something.

And so we can use this in our daily lives.

Subvert the expectations. Just because people can impose darkness and oppression, doesn’t mean you can to comply 100% of the time. Brigid brings some light herself, of course. But you can also use her to bring light and bring some on your own as well.

Light the candles. Invite her to join you in watching a favourite film. Or share in a glass of wine, listen to some music, dance…

And the t-shirt, Orlagh? What does that have to do with Brigid and light?

Well that’s simple. People are an entirely different entity than persons. Once you become a person to me – as I said in the Instagram post – things get a lot easier. But people? People? I don’t like people.

Just in general.

The herd mentality is strong in a lot of people, so until people become persons, I distrust them immensely…

I said this in a class, years ago and nearly gave poor Lora a heart attack. Most of the time once I see you face-to-face or talk to you in a class, you move from people to person.

You might say, once I see you in Brigid’s Light, I start looking at you differently!

Preparing for Imbolc

I know, it’s not even Samhain yet, and I’m already speaking about preparing for Imbolc.

But there’s a reason for it. Namely, I start preparing for Imbolc around the time of Samhain. In the same way I start preparing for Samhain around the time of Lúnasa. But for Imbolc, I take some of ye along with me on the journey.

Lighting candles is an essential part of my preparation for Imbolc, especially electric ones! Picture of an electric candle, shining in the dark
Let’s be serious, ye already knew lighting candles was ging to be a part of this!

And it’s no joke to say that I start writing about this nearly every year at this time…

What takes so long, FFS?

Well yeah, ok here’s the thing. I prepare for Imbolc over three months, because I considering the time between Samhain and Imbolc to be my dreaming period. My planning period. I’ve taken stock of where I am and what I’ve achieved between Lúnasa and Samhain. So, Samhain to Imbolc is the heavy work.

I prepare for Imbolc in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms.

And I allocate about a month for each in my preparation cycle. Imbolc isn’t just an event to me, it’s a season. And as such, I use it as part of my seasonal work. I mean, I go through a cycle of physical, emotional and spiritual work in all seasons, but for Imbolc it’s extra special preparation.

And yeah, that’s cos of the links with Brigid. Definitely.

But it’s also because I consider the work done between Samhain and Imbolc as the most important in the year. It’s how I set up my year, plan my year, engage with my audience to find out what’s needed and what isn’t for the coming year.

It’s my time for reflection, review, engagement… all of that good stuff.

And it takes time.

Preparing for Imbolc is a whole-person approach for me. And it’s different every year. There are some basics that stay the same, and I’ll talk about them down below, but the specifics change, over and over again.

Physically preparing for Imbolc

OK, a lot of this is cleaning. Seriously.

Thankfully Christmas happens between Samhain and Imbolc, otherwise, I’d never get things as clean as I want for the season. But there is a feeling or a need to clear our the house come spring. Which as we know, starts to show it’s face around Imbolc. It’s not the height of spring – I’d label that as the equinox. But still…

And particularly with Imbolc, after the winter season of closing doors and windows, there’s a great need to let the fresh air. To clear out the corners. Get the energy moving again.

(This is northern hemisphere based and four-seasons based of course. If you’re in a different season rotation – you may need to adjust!)

But preparing for Imbolc by getting things going again really feels apt for the season in Ireland and the stage of the year. And a good scrubbing of the house really helps get the energy moving again. As does a clean breeze coming through.

Now, of course, you may get complaints from certain inhabitants about the cold, etc. But I dare anyone not to enjoy the feeling of a truly clean, fresh house.

And it gives us a clean slate to start the rest of the year with. Which feeds into…

Emotionally preparing for Imbolc

Now, I’m the last to tell anyone how they might feel or how their emotions might affect them. But I know for me and mine, the dark winter months are touch, emotionally speaking. I tend to leave the house in the dark and get back to work in the dark.

In fact this started last week – admittedly, I was in work for 7am, but still. There is a definitely shortening of both morning and evening light. And this has an effect on our mood. Even the HSE, our health and safety people, recommend everyone in the country should take a vitamin D supplement.

Image reads: How much vitamin D you need Everyone in Ireland needs to take a vitamin D supplement. The amount you need depends on your age, skin tone, your situation and the time of year. If you have dark skin – for example you have an African, African-Caribbean or south Asian background – you may also not make enough vitamin D from sunlight. The amount of vitamin D you need is often described in micrograms.
Image taken from the HSE website

I mean, half the country is on anti-depressants, even with the gorgeous scenery. And that standing joke about God not letting it rain for 40 days and 40 nights anymore, but 40 days and 39 and a half nights is definitely within scope is accurate here.

How much does it rain?

As is our assessment of other climate’s rainy season. I remember being in Gambia years ago and being warned I was going during the rainy season. They got a mere 2 hours of rain every day and you could set your clock by it…

That was a gorgeous summer as far as I was concerned!

(Before anyone starts- I know monsoons and other dramatic rain are far worse than what we get. But for days of rain per year, we’re kinda up there. There’s a reason all the fields are green, ok?)

So, all in all, looking after our emotional health is important this time of year. It’s also why I consider the lighting of candles and fires to be an essential component of preparing for Imbolc. Not just about the connections of Brigid and fire. It’s about that deep seated emotional need we have for light at this dark time of the year.

Spiritually preparing for Imbolc

I mean, ye know this was coming, right? It’s not like I hide it.

And while the physical and emotional preparation are vitally important, the spiritual preparation for Imbolc is at the core of what the celebration means to me.

And the spiritual preparation can be deeply personal. For anyone! Of course there will be the public stuff. I am mostly likely to run a virtual retreat this year, again. There’s a good chance I’ll be sharing the public or public-friendly bits of my celebration on Instagram or in the Facebook group.

But there are always personal parts. I might share the fact that a spiritual shower or sacred cleanse is an important part of my celebration, but I don’t usually share the explicit details of it. I might share a pic of my brat Bhríde hanging from the door. It’s not so likely I’ll share the details of the prayers and blessings I add into my own private ritual.

There is always that dividing line for me between the publicly available stuff and the personal stuff. Whether that stuff is personal gnosis or just none of anyone else’s business doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that when I’m teaching, I give you the tools to develop your own practices. Because that’s where the value is. Not in copying what I do by rote.

Heads up

So this is a heads up. A heads up for both you and me.

We’ll be starting the course on 1st November. It ends up usually being about 5 classes over three months… I’m great at planning these things to be even and regular… not. So, there’s usually a gap over Christmas, but don’t worry. Sessions are recorded and usually available within a day or two.

But you don’t have to join the class if you don’t want to. (Although payment plan is available!)

If you are interested, check out the links and if you have any questions, email!

But don’t forget. This dark, quiet time of year is not for the faint of heart. And spring comes again quickly!

St Brigid had a temper!

Trust me, St. Brigid had a temper! This is prompted by yet another query in the Facebook group at the weekend saying they can only find “meek and mild” depictions of St. Brigid. Now, I’ve written about this before, but this time, I feel it’s worth exploring in more depth in a fully blog post.

Now look. This isn’t going to be our usual stuff. I’m talking purely about the saint in this post and I will be referring to the hagiographies available on UCC Celt.

PIcture of my Brigid stature, holding a flame, in front of a cauldron, with a lit tea light on the cauldron and a Brigid's cross in between Brigid and the cauldron. Trust me, St Brigid has a temper - what sort of meek and mild woman holds fire in her palms!
PIcture of my Brigid stature, holding a flame, in front of a cauldron, with a lit tea light on the cauldron and a Brigid’s cross in between. What sort of meek and mild woman holds fire in her palms?

Example 1: Rejecting a marriage offer

This to me is a key understanding of St. Brigid’s temper. Her Da isn’t too bad here, but her brothers are being a pain in the arse. So she takes steps. Seriously steps.

Shortly afterwards a man came to Dubthach’s house to woo Brigit. His name was Dubthach moccu Lugair. That pleased her father and her brothers. ‘It is difficult for me’, said Brigit, ‘I have offered up my virginity to God. I will give you advice. There is a wood behind your house, and there is a beautiful maiden [therein]. She will be betrothed to you, and this is how you will recognize it: You will find an enclosure wide open and the maiden will be washing her father’s head and they will give you a greater welcome, and I will bless your face and your speech so that whatever you say will please them.’ It was done as Brigit said.

Her brothers were grieved at her depriving them of the bride-price. There were poor people living close to Dubthach’s house. She went one day carrying a small load for them. Her brothers, her father’s sons, who had come from Mag Lifi, met her. Some of them were laughing at her; others were not pleased with her, namely Bacéne, who said: ‘The beautiful eye which is in your head will be betrothed to a man though you like it or not.’ Thereupon she immediately thrusts her finger into her eye. ‘Here is that beautiful eye for you’, said Brigit. ‘I deem it unlikely’, said she, ‘that anyone will ask you for a blind girl.’ Her brothers rush about her at once save that there was no water near them to wash the wound. ‘Put’, said she, ‘my staff about this sod in front of you.’ That was done. A stream gushed forth from the earth. And she cursed Bacéne and his descendants, and said: ‘Soon your two eyes will burst in your head.’ And it happened thus.

Dubthach said to her: ‘Take the veil then, my daughter, for this is what you desire. Distribute this holding to God and man.’ ‘Thanks be to God’, said Brigit.

– Bethu Brigte (14 – 16)

Not only did she put her suitor off, but when her Bacéne tried to force her, she plucked out her own eye to stop him and then burst his two eyes as punishment. This is not the action of a meek and mild, biddable woman. This is a woman who has grown up with a bunch of brothers and is well used to fighting back. St. Brigid is used to losing her temper in this scenario and knows she pays her brother back

Example 2: Healing a leper – possibly out of spite

On the same Easter Sunday there came to her a certain leper from whom his limbs were falling, to ask for a cow. ‘For God’s sake, Brigit, give me a cow.’ ‘Grant me a respite’, said Brigit. ‘I would not grant you’, said he, ‘even the respite of a single day.’ ‘My son, let us await the hand of God’, said Brigit. ‘I will go off’, said the leper. ‘I will get a cow in another stead although I obtain it not from you.’ ‘. . .’, said Brigit, ‘and if we were to pray to God for the removal of your leprosy, would you like that?’, ‘No’, said he, ‘I obtain more this way than when I shall be clean.’ ‘It is better’, said Brigit, ‘. . . and you shall take a blessing [and] shall be cleansed.’ ‘All right then’, said he, ‘for I am sorely afflicted.’ ‘How will this man be cleansed?’, said Brigit to her maidens. ‘Not hard, O nun. Let your blessing be put on a mug of water, and let the leper be washed with it afterwards.’ It was done thus and he was completely cured. ‘I shall not go’, said the leper, ‘from the cup which has healed me — I shall be your servant and woodman.’ Thus it was done.

– Bethu Brigte (23)

Now, ok, plenty of people read this differently to me. They see it as St. Brigid looking for a way to support this poor leper one way or another. But when I view it, I see it as an exasperated Brigid looking to get this man away from her one way or another. In other words, St. Brigid losing her temper in exasperation.

He says explicitly he doesn’t want to be healed, but she goes ahead anyway to heal him. No one else ever seen a healer heal someone out of spite? I sure as hell have!

And the poor woman ends up stuck with him anyway, because she has to take him on as a servant. Can you imagine the frustration she felt… Or possibly a consequence for St. Brigid losing her temper!

Example 3: Unfair dealings with “her” bishop and St. Brigid loses her temper

On the following day, Tuesday, there was a good man nearby who was related to Brigit. He had been a full year ailing. ‘Take for me today’, said he, ‘the best cow in my byre to Brigit, and let her pray to God for me, to see if I shall be cured.’ The cow was brought, and Brigit said to those who brought it: ‘Take it immediately to Mel.’ They brought it back to their house and exchanged it for another cow unknown to their sick man. That was related to Brigit, who was angry at the deceit practised on her. ‘Between a short time from now and the morning’, said Brigit, ‘wolves shall eat the good cow which was given into my possession and which was not brought to you’, said she to Mel, ‘and they shall eat seven oxen in addition to it.’ That was related then to the sick man. ‘Go’, said he, ‘take to her seven oxen of choice of the byre.’ It was done thus. ‘Thanks be to God’, said Brigit. ‘Let them be taken to Mel to his church. He has been preaching and saying Mass for us these seven days between the two Easters; a cow each day to him for his labour, it is not greater than what he has given; and take a blessing with all eight, a blessing on him from whom they were brought’, said Brigit. When she said that he was healed immediately.

– Bethu Brigte, (25)

This time, St. Brigid is explicitly described as “angry” and well she might be. Deceit is not something she tolerates much, unless it’s for the greater good. And in this case, it was depriving a holy man from his just payment. Not to mention, putting into danger the healing of the sick man. Even if St. Brigid didn’t have a temper, any healer would be angry at a patient being put into danger.

Example 4: St. Brigid losing her temper at a cantankerous woman

Oh yes, I love this one! When St. Brigid doesn’t adhere to what a donor expects after receiving a gift of apples, both the woman and St. Brigid lose their tempers!

Once she was hurrying on the bank of the Inny. There were many apples and sweet sloes in that church. A certain nun gave her a small gift in a basket of bark. When she brought [it] into the house, lepers came at once into the middle of the house to beg of her. ‘Take’, said she, ‘yonder apples’, Then she who had presented the apples [said]: ‘I did not give the gift to lepers.’ Brigit was displeased and said: ‘You act wrongly in prohibiting gifts to the servants of God; therefore your trees shall never bear any fruit.’ And the donor, on going out, sees that all at once her garden bore no fruit, while shortly before it had abundant fruits. And it remains barren for ever, except for foliage.

– Bethu Brigte (32)

Now, ok, it’s saying St. Brigid was “displeased”, but honestly, denying the woman and the tree any further fruit on the basis of the woman’s behaviour reeks of temper to me!

Just from one hagiography?

Yes, that’s just from the one hagiography. And remember – these stories were meant to show the best of the saints they venerated. So the saint having a temper, losing said temper, getting angry, taking steps… none of this was considered wrong or to be concerned about.

It was something important – that she would stand up and use her anger and her temper to support those she deemed in need of it. Whether it was herself, with her brothers, her bishop, her patients… whoever and whatever, she used that temper.

But don’t be coming to me saying she’s all meek and mild. For the love of all you hold holy, read the damn manuscripts! They’re available for free!!

The Brigid Sessions

After the dirty mire of my post earlier this week, I wanted to do a bit of a brain cleanser and work towards something positive. So I wanted to write a bit about the Brigid Sessions. I’m having a lot of fun with people joining these sessions, and because they are a short, focused means of coaching, it helps a lot more people.

So you’re selling something?

Well, yes. That is the base of this deal. For a price of $227 or €197, you get three sessions with me.

Session 1: Know Yourself (45–60 mins)
We begin with you. Your gifts, your resources, and the places in your life where Brigid’s energy is most needed. This is a deep, intuitive dive into your personal landscape.

Session 2: Co-Create Your Path (30 mins)
Together, we’ll shape your next steps. Whether it’s joining a local group, starting a creative or spiritual project, or something entirely unique—we’ll craft a plan that feels aligned and doable.

Session 3: Refine & Rise (30 mins, one week-ish later)
After you’ve had time to explore and reflect, we’ll meet again to adjust and refine. You’ll leave with clarity, confidence, and a sense of sacred momentum.

This is targeted coaching on a single issue. Although, I should warn you, no one who has signed up so far has ended up delving deep into the issue they thought they were signing up for.

So, no one is getting what they want?

Not exactly.

I’ve had someone sign up to talk about a portable altar, and end up talking about how to gain Brigid’s help in engaging with her mother.

Someone else came in looking for support on connecting with Brigid, we ended up clarifying her meditation practices and how to work through difficult times.

The last example I’ll give is someone going through a very messy, difficult break up. And looking for some Brigid support. We ended up working through water magic and going with the flow.

(OK, if I’m honest, there’s been more than one example that would fit into the above three samples. I’m trying to keep things vague enough so people don’t feel identified, while concrete enough to let you see what’s going on).

But as always with Brigid, things are rarely clear cut. And sometimes that first session, the deep dive into your current situation, resources, gifts and the bits of your life that Brigid could help with – that’s truly valuable. Hence why it’s so long, compared to the other two.

Because once you get clear on what and where you want that help, the asking for help is reasonably straightforward.

Who is this for?

Well for anyone. But as ye all know, I predominantly work with women, coming out of a rigid spiritual set-up, usually from a Catholic/ Christian background, with an interest in Irish spirituality.

As well as people looking for an extremely practical approach to things.

This is highly unlikely to end up giving you energetic work to do. It’s far more likely to have you out digging a garden than praying. Prayer is always a useful part of life. Don’t get me wrong. But in my experience, prayer supports practical action, not the other way around.

So, is there a thorny issue in your side that you want to deal with? Are you prepared for some close questioning to get to the root of your issue?

Is there something you feel you can ask Brigid for help with, but it feels vague and airy-fairy?

Click on the link and sign up.

Money problems

Given the mess that is in the US right now, I’m doing the same here as I do for the Hope and Healing Hub. For every full paying session, I’m gifting one as well.

So, if money is an issue, reach out and I’ll put you on the list.

Most of all?

Remember Brigid looks after the cowless. She worked to help women in her community. She stands for those women in male-dominated professions.

Her help is there – but she won’t cross the line without being asked.

And neither will I!

Charlie Kirk: Don’t speak ill of the dead?

Yeah, I’m jumping on the Charlie Kirk bandwagon. For the record, before we get into the nuance of this situation I want to make a few things clear:

  • I lean hard left – basic universal income, everyone has a right to human dignity, being human and worthy of rights doesn’t depend on so-called “productivity” type left
  • I think fewer guns in circulation would solve a lot of US issues
  • I suppose trade unions, community action, <40 hour working week, working parents/guardians/ carers supports, and a lot more
  • I’m pro-LGBTQIA+ and think that people should be able to dress what as they want.
  • I’m also firmly of the opinion that what consenting adults do in private is their own business. As soon as either consent, adults or private is no longer the case, then the law has the right to intervene.

So, with all that said, ye already know this isn’t going to be a ringing endorsement of Charlie Kirk, right?

An image from a tweet from Lori Wildenberg that reads: Here's Charlie Kirk's empathy quote in contents:: "I can't stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new-age term, and it does a lot of damage. I much prefer the word compassion, and I much prefer the word sympathy. Empathy is where you try to feel someone's pain and sorrows as if they're your own. compassion allows for understanding." -Charlie Kirk.

Who was Charlie Kirk?

I got to be honest here: before this man was murdered, I hadn’t heard of him in a way to take notice of him. And looking back at his career, that makes sense. With the whole global shitshow going on right now, I don’t pay attention to every right wing speaker on college campuses in the States.

Sorry, but that’s just the way life is.

But here we go:

Charlie Kirk was born in Chicago (I think) on 14th October 1993. He was born into what he has described as a “moderate” Republican family. His first taste of fame came when he appeared on Fox Business at age 17, for writing an essay for Breitbart News on the apparent liberal bias in education (according to him…)

This appears to have given him a taste for the limelight. (That sentence right there is pure opinion on my part, by the way.) But seeing as how he went on to fund Turning Point USA the following year, an organisation ostensibly to “advocate for conservative politics on high school, college and university campuses”. No, I’m not linking to the websites for this, I find them troubling, disgusting and creepy.

As part of Turning Point USA, the Professor Watchlist was published. This is a list which outlines and lists academic staff that Turning Point USA deem to “discriminate against conservative students, promote anti-American values and advance leftist propaganda in the classroom.” In the days since Charlie Kirk’s murder, I’ve seen many professors, academics and other people involved in teaching people from primary school to college saying this list has lead to abuse, intimidation and general health and safety concerns for those listed on it.

The debate…

One of the things I have heard about Charlie Kirk is that he was one of the few people still willing to debate issues concerning both the right and left wing in US politics. All I can say is, that having listening to some of the rhetoric he considered debating, I shudder for the state of politics in the US. He browbeat opponents, often people years his junior. He used all sorts of straw man argument. Ad hominem attacks. Devil’s advocate type approaches. A lot of cherry picking of statistics… Listen, go look up the wikipedia article above on straw man arguments. Then look at the “see also” list below it. There’s pretty much a lovely list there that covers a lot of what Charlie Kirk used in his debates.

For example, in the “debate”, during which he was murdered, he was engaging in the following exchange:

ATTENDEE: Do you know how many transgender Americans have been mass shooters over the last 10 years?

KIRK: Too many. [Applause]

ATTENDEE: In America, it’s five. Now, five is a lot, right, I’m going to give you — I’m going to give you some credit. Do you know how many mass shooters there have been in America over the last 10 years?

KIRK: Counting or not counting gang violence?

Now, the fact that Charlie Kirk was anti trans is well established – we’ll get into some of his more horrible quotes later, but Snopes has debunked this theory that in the US, mass shooters are disproportionately transgender. From what I can see, on that page linked above in SNopes and they’re basing their figures on the Violence Prevention Project, 96% of all mass shooters, according to their definition of mass shootings, are cis male.

0.5% (or 1) were transgender.

Charlie Kirk in his own words

Now, I’m taking a lot of the following quotes from the Guardian article on him. Using his own words. Fair warning, we’re looking at racism, sexism, anti-immigration, anti-islamic, very right wing, horrible words below. So, read on at your peril.

On race

If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 23 January 2024

If you’re a WNBA, pot-smoking, Black lesbian, do you get treated better than a United States marine?

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 8 December 2022

Happening all the time in urban America, prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people, that’s a fact. It’s happening more and more.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 19 May 2023

If I’m dealing with somebody in customer service who’s a moronic Black woman, I wonder is she there because of her excellence, or is she there because of affirmative action?

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 3 January 2024

If we would have said that Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks, we would have been called racists. Now they’re coming out and they’re saying it for us … You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 13 July 2023

On debate

We record all of it so that we put [it] on the internet so people can see these ideas collide. When people stop talking, that’s when you get violence. That’s when civil war happens, because you start to think the other side is so evil, and they lose their humanity.

– Kirk discussing his work in an undated clip that circulated on X after his killing.

Prove me wrong.

– Kirk’s challenge to students to publicly debate him during the tour of colleges he was on when he was assassinated.

On gender, feminism and reproductive rights

Reject feminism. Submit to your husband, Taylor. You’re not in charge.

– Discussing news of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement on The Charlie Kirk Show, 26 August 2025

The answer is yes, the baby would be delivered.

– Responding to a question about whether he would support his 10-year-old daughter aborting a pregnancy conceived because of rape on the debate show Surrounded, published on 8 September 2024

We need to have a Nuremberg-style trial for every gender-affirming clinic doctor. We need it immediately.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 1 April 2024

On immigration

America was at its peak when we halted immigration for 40 years and we dropped our foreign-born percentage to its lowest level ever. We should be unafraid to do that.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 22 August 2025

The American Democrat party hates this country. They wanna see it collapse. They love it when America becomes less white.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 20 March 2024

The great replacement strategy, which is well under way every single day in our southern border, is a strategy to replace white rural America with something different.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 1 March 2024

On Islam

America has freedom of religion, of course, but we should be frank: large dedicated Islamic areas are a threat to America.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 30 April 2025

We’ve been warning about the rise of Islam on the show, to great amount of backlash. We don’t care, that’s what we do here. And we said that Islam is not compatible with western civilization.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 24 June 2025

Islam is the sword the left is using to slit the throat of America.

– Charlie Kirk social media post, 8 September 2025

On religion

There is no separation of church and state. It’s a fabrication, it’s a fiction, it’s not in the constitution. It’s made up by secular humanists.

– The Charlie Kirk Show, 6 July 2022

And finally…

On gun violence

I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.

– Event organized by TPUSA Faith, the religious arm of Kirk’s conservative group Turning Point USA, on 5 April 2023

Why am I writing about this man?

There’s a few reasons. First, it’s a key debate that many of my US based audience are dealing with right now. Second, the truth is rarely black and white. Although in this case, it appears to be reasonably extremely dark grey and extremely light grey. Third, Brigid told me to.

I’ve seen a lot of hatred of this man on social media over the last few days, and a lot of hatred for the hatred if that makes sense. But one comment – made against a friend of mine – stood out.

“In this country [Ireland], we don’t speak ill of the dead.”

Now, traditionally, this has been held to be the “respectable” position. Check here for why I don’t consider respectable a reasonable status most of the time. But that phrase “don’t speak ill of the dead” struck a chord with me. Because, as a rule, in Ireland, it has been the case. People don’t tend to speak ill of someone once they’ve passed. They can no longer defend themselves, after all.

But that approach has been changing, and changing for the better. Not everyone who dies on this island is a saint, and families are ever more able and capable of addressing the dark deeds of the past and not bury them with the dead. “Don’t speak ill of the dead” has been used for generations to silence victims – of rape, of abuse, of torture… And it’s important in our decolonisation as a country, a nation and a people that we speak out now.

So, while it’s acting against everything that’s been taught us, I think it behoves us to act when we see people sanctifying and glorifying someone who espoused evil while they were alive.

His. Own. Words.

I have no problem hanging Charlie Kirk out to dry with his own words. There are plenty of people who support them. I’m not one of those people. This man stood for pretty much everything I see wrong with this world. He stood for fascism in a time when fascism is a very real threat in the world. He sought to silence those who spoke out against his world view.

I mean, he helped enact and supported policies to keep the poor, poor. The downtrodden under the boot. To keep minorities in their place – well, their place as he saw it. And in particular, the LGBQIA+ community. Various parties are actively engaging in conversations to promote him as a bastion of debate. Having tainted my brain with some of his so-called debates – they weren’t debates as I know them. They were attempts to force people to accept his point of view.

And, having now tainted my brain like that, I’m very happy to accept that there are people out there celebrating his death.

Charlie Kirk wasn’t Hitler. But he could have been a very high ranking Nazi, holding the views that he did. I can see him standing right beside the Führer at one of the mass rallies. Because he did organise mass rallies all over the US. And tolerated no dissent from his views.

Celebrate life, not death

Yeah, this one is tough. And it links to “don’t speak ill of the dead” or “if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all”.

And that’s all fine and dandy, most of the time. But not when basic human rights are being eroded all over the world and a massive swing towards the right, towards the fascist ideologies are coming to the fore.

I can see people reaching back to the Brehon laws, highlighting the ones that lean into that right wing stretch. But I’ve never claimed to want to recreate the Brehon laws in totality. The world has moved on. My worth and my word are not half my husband’s. I’m not my husband’s property, or my father’s for that matter. There are times they are both hugely grateful they can’t be held responsible for my actions.

So, for all the people drawing on that “Brehon laws said…” yeah, they did. But they weren’t perfect. They were built for the communities they supported over 1500 years ago. Not modern society.

We have different understandings of people’s roles in society now. A better understanding of equality under the law.

Anyone who is reaching out and saying we should support Charlie Kirk as Irish people because he held true to ancient laws… They’re full of shit and using bits and bobs of our heritage for their own gain.

What I am and am not interested in

I’m not interested in recreating the Ireland of 1500 years ago, or of 3000 years ago. We developed far more and far better solutions to our issues and governance than our ancestors had. I’m interested in building a better society for all of us.

And I’m tying into Brig Ambue here. Looking for the less well off, the hopeless, the ones that don’t have a future. How do we, as a community, serve those people? I’m not interested in holding people down. I want all people to play an active role in society, as best suits them.

That doesn’t necessarily mean holding to traditional gender roles. I don’t rule it out, but honestly – I don’t do that, so why would I expect anyone else to do that? Look at my linkedin profile if you’re interested in how I can say that. Yeah, there are solid reasons I feel closer to the Smith than the Poet or the Healer.

I don’t think that people who have children out of wedlock are to be damned. Why would I? They’re still human. Neither they nor their offspring deserve to be treated differently. Other than considering what supports they might need in life.

I’m not joining in the celebrations of Charlie Kirk’s death. He just wasn’t important enough in my life for that.

So what am I saying?

I understand the many people who are celebrating this death.

Yeah, I think it’s ironic he died in a shooting incident, given his views on gun control.

I feel sorry for his children, having lost their father. I hope they can grow up in a place of love, not hate. And with a bit of luck, they will not have a path to escape their father’s rigid spirituality.

His wife? No, not overly sorry for her. She supported him. And as far as I can tell, shared his views.

I hope the politicians and commentators who have been besmirching the left over the last few days can come to their sense on key issues now. I don’t hold out much hope. But there’s some hope there.

The young man who killed Charlie Kirk? I hope he gets the treatment he deserves.

To those of you still clinging to the “be nice” side of the coin: I hope you never have to confront a situation where “being nice” serves to cause harm to you or those around you. I don’t live in that space.

Being honest hurts people sometimes. And there are times it’s not necessary. “Charlie Kirk held extreme views on abortion” is not the same as “I hated that casserole”. And yes, I think forcing victims of rape to carry their rapists child is an extreme view. Charlie Kirk said that about his own daughter – that he would force her to carry the child.

He was a horrible obnoxious human being and the world is better off without him. (And yes, that there is another opinion of mine, just to finish off the post).

How did Brigid take up space?

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of feeling small and how it affects us. So, today I want to talk about the different ways in which Brigid takes up space.

And, possibly more importantly, how we can learn from it!

The death of a son

I’ve spoken about Ruadhán’s death before on the blog. And there’s a whole course on the excerpt over in the school. So, I have a lot to say about this aspect of Brigid. But today, I’m going to talk about her taking up space.

Primarily, in the enemy camp of the Fomorians.

Seriously – Brig followed Ruadhán to his father’s presence in the Fomorian assembly.

But after the spear had been given to him, Rúadán turned and wounded Goibniu. He pulled out the spear and hurled it at Rúadán so that it went through him; and he died in his father’s presence in the Fomorian assembly. Bríg came and keened for her son. At first she shrieked, in the end she wept. Then for the first time weeping and shrieking were heard in Ireland. (Now she is the Bríg who invented a whistle for signalling at night.)

– Cath Maige Tuired: The Second Battle of Mag Tuired

I mean, on the one hand, she was the wife of Bres (at one time anyway) and the mother of the dead child. So, we’re looking at someone who could be deemed to belong there.

But equally, she had fairly obvious strong ties to the Tuatha De Danann camp, potentially far stronger than a rotten marriage to a deposed king.

Was this a safe place for Brig?

Probably not. But she took up the space she needed. She keened. Mourned her son. And did what needed to be done.

Brigid taking up space – and food

OK, so the myriad of ways in which Brigid takes space and food throughout her hagiographies is vast.

A picture of Brigid's Garden Well in Kildare. A physical Brigid takes up space here! (Although the statue isn't in this picture!!)
Brigid, taking up space in Kildare!

She gives away butter – then makes sure the dairy provides what’s needed for the family anyway. She feeds an old hound from the meat meant for guests, and still manages to have enough for the guests. (Although in that case, the guests felt ashamed by her actions and decided to give their food to the poor in imitation of her actions)

 Every store of food which she saw and served used to grow. She bettered the sheep: she tended the blind: she fed the poor.

– On the Life of St. Brigit

Not to mention the time she gave away a valuable chain and her nuns came to her complaining they’d no money for food and clothes, when she came out with this zinger:

‘Ye are sinning,’ saith Brigit: ‘Go ye into the church : the place wherein I make prayer, there will ye find your chain.’ They went at Brigit’s word. But, though it had been given to the poor man, the virgins found their chain therein.

On the Life of St. Brigit

Blackmail always an option…

… in God’s name of course

Brigit went to Bishop Ibair that he may mark out her city for her. So they came thereafter to the place where Kildare is to-day. That was the season and the time that Ailill son of Dunlaing, with a hundred horse-loads of peeled rods, chanced to be going through the ground of Kildare. Two girls came from Brigit to ask for some of the rods, and they got a refusal. Forthwith all the horses were struck down under their loads against the ground. Stakes and wattles were taken from them, and they arose not until Ailill son of Dunlaing had offered unto Brigit those hundred horse-loads; and thereout was built Saint Brigit’s house in Kildare.

On the Life of St. Brigit

I mean, blackmail might not be quite the word here, but it’s certainly implied blackmail.

Sure what would the man be doing with that many rods anyway???

Standing up for justice

Now you might think that Brigid didn’t have much to do with justice, but she freed captives.

Brigit went into the province of Fir Ross to loosen a captive who was in manu with the King of Ross. Said Brigit: ‘Wilt thou set that captive free for me?’ The King replied: ‘Though thou shouldst give me the realm of the men of Breg, I would not give him to thee. But go not with a refusal,’ saith the King. ‘For one night thou shalt have the right to guard his life for him.’ Then Brigit appeared at the close of day to the captive and said to him: ‘When the chain shall be opened for thee repeat this hymn, Nunc populus, and turn to thy right hand and flee.’ Thus it is done, and the captive flees at the word of Brigit.

On the Life of St. Brigit

OK that’s one captive, but still…

rigit, and certain virgins with her, went to Bishop Mél, in Telcha Mide, to take the veil. Glad was he thereat. For humbleness Brigit staid, so that she might be the last to whom the veil should be given. A fiery pillar arose from her head to the ridgepole of the church. Bishop Mél asked: ‘What virgin is there?’ Answered MacCaille: ‘That is Brigit,’ saith he. ‘Come thou, O holy Brigit,’ saith Bishop Mél, ‘that the veil may be sained on thy head before other virgins.’

It came to pass then, through the grace of the Holy Ghost, that the form of ordaining a bishop was read over Brigit. MacCaille said that ‘The order of a bishop should not be (conferred) on a woman.’ Dixit Bishop Mél: ‘No power have I in this matter, inasmuch as by God hath been given unto her this honour beyond every woman.’ Hence, it is that the men of Ireland give the honour of bishop to Brigit’s successor.

Yup, she was ordained a bishop and hence the honour of a bishop and precedence was granted to Brigid’s successor – until 1169 when the then successor was raped by Dermot McMurrough’s troops and divested of her station. (And then threw in McMurrough’s niece as reverend mother who then in turn, gave up her precedence to take her “proper place” behind the men…)

Not to mention healing a leper and then re-infecting him because of his behaviour afterwards.

What can we learn from this?

Sometimes, we have to venture into discomfort to learn things. I’m not one that says every bad experience is a teaching moment – well ok, maybe I am, even if the teaching moment is that some people are assholes. But there are times when we, like Brigid, take up space in ways that just isn’t comfortable. Discomfort doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s not comfortable and not habitual.

Sometimes, taking up space makes us a target in ways we don’t like. That doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile or that we avoid doing it. Sometimes, you feel the fear and do it anyway. At other times, you look at the risks and decide something isn’t worth it.

But don’t take the smaller stance just by default. Because there isn’t a clear way to win then.

Brigid was born of a slave – according to the hagiographies. And her mother is completely unknown in the pre-Christian lore. Her husband was a bad king. Her child(ren) (depending on which lore you’re reading) was (were) killed. Justly or unjustly, depending on your point of view.

And yet she endures. She was ordained a bishop. She founded a monastic institution that resonates through the centuries to us. We hold her close as Poet, Smith and Healer.

Brigid took up, and still takes up, space. In Ireland and elsewhere.

If she can do it, so can you.